Saturday, March 28, 2009

keyboard cocktail.

last night i dissected a keyboard, and it was pretty awesome. and yes, that martini glass is full of keyboard keys. it's also worth noting that i wanted to call this post "you got servered", which was a hilarious quip from my roommate brad. i thought it stretched being related enough, however. but just you wait and see--life will find a way.

anyway, the di offered a few winning opportunities. the first being the fact that i found a killer ergonomic keyboard for three dollars that's fully functioning, fully awesome, and fully being used right now. the only disadvantage to the keyboard is that due to some short you can no longer use the numpad to type numbers. however, this is made up for in the fact that i figured out how to use the numpad as the mouse. sure, it takes some getting used to. but with some setting adjustments, it's starting to feel pretty natural. besides, this means i can sit at the couch with my laptop two feet ahead of me as a type on this keyboard rather than huddling over the laptop keyboard, desperately trying to type more quickly so i can stop the huddling. so, the ergonomic keyboard was a winning three dollar investment.

i bought another keyboard as well. this one was just a standard issue pc keyboard. it was a bit worn, but the keys worked like a dream and so on and so forth. when we left the di we had a few small breaks and then we were off to autumn's apartment to watch dune once again and experiment with the new typing equipment. the keyboard cocktail featured above was a reslut of this.

step one) remove the keyboard's screws with a butter knife compliments of the absence of a phillips head.

step two) realize too late that you undid the mounting screws for the connective hardware in the top write corner. oh well...

step three) borrow the laptop from autumn and try out the keyboard. at this point, the keyboard is simply a piece of plastic with inlay circuit work and little rubber domes over each key. because you already removed the mounting screws for the hardware, you'll simply have to press down on it with my thumb to keep it in place, but the keys will work... with a bit of tlc.

step four) lose the mounting screws and search for upwards of ten minutes in the crevice of a couch.

step five) lose the lost screw once again when you throw away all the gross stuff from the couch. spend approximately twenty minutes trying to find the screw, which you'll eventually find sitting underneath your knee after you've given up the search.

step six) take the keyboard's exoskeleton with all of the keys, and use the same butter knife to remove each key.

step seven) talk with your girlfriend about making pushpins with the keys, at which point she will trump that idea with the idea of earrings. be sure she mentions how much computer engineers will love them.

step eight)go crazy and simply remove all the domes so you have nothing left but a flat membrane.

step nine) keep the honor code and go home before you need to be kicked out.

step ten) play with the membrane until you get the two layers to line up properly and superglue the corners to prevent shifting.

step eleven) at home, further test the new membranous keyboard and draw a skull and crossbones on the underside of the keyboard's original metal bottom to mark the placement of the f key.

step twelve) test it out and find that it works (with some pressure applied to the circuit board). make plans to use twine to solve the problem the next morning.

step thirteen) give the keyboard a prototype name. you should probably use a reference from dune and a roman numeral. i named mine STILGAR I.

and you're done. at least in copying my process. it was great fun. hopefully i get the wiring better secured in order to make it so i don't have to hold down the top right corner to type. i'll be sure to let you know how i do. and now, i'm off to prepare for cleaning inspections.

the finished product

sorry about the quality, i had to use my phone.

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