fifty thousand words.

"when asked, 'how do you write?' I invariably answer, 'one word at a time.'"

-stephen king.

today i'm beginning my june project. rather than sitting around to relax in my scheduled downtime, my goal is to write a novel (albeit an awful one) in that time instead. this was inspired by a few things: the first is that fact that i've been meaning to write a novel for several years now; the second is wanting my downtime to go towards something besides high scores; and lastly, the suggestion of my friend eric. eric gave me a lead to national novel writing month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/), which basically is an event that invites you to take one month and write a novel (at least fifty-thousand words in length) from scratch, start to finish. the actual month takes place in november, but i decided to give it a solo run in june--we all know i'm impatient.


for my mother's sake, i'll remind you it's a downtime project, and my schoolwork, work, etc. come before it. just the fact that i'll have a pet project for a month is a wonderful thought. 


it will never be published, likely never be read. but it'll be written--that's worth something, right?

dr. dohn m. denison secondary school.

"Dr. J.M. Denison S.S. is a public high school in the York Region District School Board located on 135 Bristol Rd, Newmarket, Ontario, Canada and it opened in 1989. Additions were built in 1991, and a new technological studies wing was completed in late 2009. The school is just south of the border between Newmarket and East Gwillimbury, but the school address is in Newmarket."

--wikipedia 

 
sometimes i'll commit to doing thing only because it'll make me do something i wouldn't do if i just had to say yes or no at the moment of the opportunity. such is the case with a local music venue's singer/songwriter competition. i received an e-mail last monday saying that they were having a week long equivalent to a battle of the bands where five (i think) people will play a twenty minute set of their original stuff. winner for audience and judge's choice. realizing it was an interesting opportunity, but i wouldn't do it if i got there and didn't have to, i immediately wrote back and signed up. so now i have to, which is a good thing. it's intimidating, but i'll survive at any rate.

the predicament this puts me in now is what songs to play. my current game plan is to do two songs on guitar and then two to three (depending on time) on the ukelele. i'm deciding on my guitar ones, as i've a few i can readily use. however, my ukelele ones present an opportunity to spew some creativity as i've got two songs with the music laid out that i would love to use, but no lyrics as of yet for either. so i'm looking for things to write about. wikipedia's random article generator (a favorite passtime)has been helpful for this sort of thing in the past (and is the source of the article at the top of the page), but it's still not proving very helpful. 

so. here's the scoop. i'm posting two songs up with their working titles i had pertaining to where they might go. it would be very helpful for me if you could post a comment stating what each, or one of the songs make you think of so i can possibly use it as a basis for writing the lyrics. you can feel free to use the working titles as a basis for your ideas, or forget the titles altogether. if i choose yours, you won't get much out of it... but i'll mention your name and buy you a soda sometime. 

the songs.

(oh, and as a sidenote, these aren't the whole of the songs, just the gist so you get the general feeling. also, i look angry in both videos. i'm not sure why that is.)

good day to grow a beard.

peruvian tracy. 

thanks again in advance.

quando quando quando.

"do one thing everyday that scares you."
-eleanor roosevelt

in other words, you should be going out of your way to do frightening things everyday. i think eleanor was on to something. as of recent, i've been trying to implement this little gem. in lots of ways.

we'll assume that 'to scare' can be defined as instilling fear. the merriam-webster dictionary defines fear as "an unpleasant, often strong, emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger." danger is defined by the same source as "exposure or liability to injury, pain, harm, or loss." therefore, in order to fulfill this advice, i need to do something that the excites anticipation or awareness of potential injury, pain, harm, or loss. when i map it out like that, it's not so hard.

using the preceding as our jumping point, if i do one of the following things a day, then i'll be following eleanor's words of wisdom.

• correcting people.
  
• cooking something that i'm not experienced at cooking.
  
• doing most anything in front of large crowds.
• doing things i've claimed to be good at.
  
• submitting applications.
• participating in competitions.
• dancing.
• looking down from heights.
• trying particularly foreign foods.
  
• giving presentations.
• showing people personal works (music, writing, etc).
• going into particularly dark places.

now, of course there are many things on this list where saying they scare me is a bit of a stretch whereas others are a bit more unnerving. eating a somewhat frightening foreign food is nothing close to looking down from heights. and heights aren't near what other things may be. however, everything on that list at the very least make me uncomfortable. and at that, many of them are things are things i do pretty often, and even enjoy doing. again, foreign foods are always fun. they still can make me a bit uncomfortable. that's the whole point, though.

it is my belief that eleanor advised this because we're simply a big bunch of sissies in far too many ways. indeed, i am often nothing but a big sissy. and how does one cure one's self of sissiness? by making his or her sissy self face the music. eat a bug, sing to a crowd, and go cliff diving.

and so i shall. sooner or later.

dear santa.

dear santa--

please forgive my writing this so late in the game and for writing it as a blog post. short notice and unconventional format may, i know, work against me. however, the way i see it, you know if i've been (or may yet be in these final hours of christmas eve) naughty or nice, you should be aware of this post. besides, i think mrs. claus is a follower of the blog, so i'm sure she can pass this along. and as far as having what i'm asking for in stock, i feel they are all either run of the mill enough that you have plenty, or they've been unpopular for long enough that you'll be eager to get rid of your surplus from years past. i may even get to of the out of season items. and some of them are more to do with changing some aspect of my life rather than giving me something. those i'm sure will be more long term anyway, so you can take care of those after a bit of r&r following your christmas run. but i digress...

earlier this month i realized i'd yet to write you this year, but with scheduling what it was, the better part of december somehow passed me by and i find myself with you having minimal input on my christmas gifts this year and no thanks for your no doubt generous stop at my house. so. thank you very much for your generosity. and here's my christmas list.

1. a straight razor and all the accompanying components that are needed to use it effectively. for a while now, i've been looking to purchase one. shave ready, if you don't mind. i know you're probably wondering why. here's the thing, i hate shaving. the only fun shaving can be is when i forget to (or let out the rebel inside and choose not to... i know, that's naughty. i usually don't.) and decide to give myself chops. you probably read my post about that a while ago. anyway, since i have to shave either way, i've decided to embrace it and shave like a man. a man from the early nineteen hundreds. or a man who lives in the outdoors for a living. check this clip out and tell me you don't feel the same way. though i can understand that you won't feel quite the same as you've that delightful beard of yours. but just picture yourself in my shoes.

i'll be needing the razor, the water stone, and the strop. i can take care of the brush and soap, though.

2. more facial hair to make shaving it off more satisfying. i have enough to keep it worthwhile, but more would be nice. it's like scraping a car. if there's lot of snow and ice, it's very satisfying. if there's only frost, it's just annoying.

3. a furby. i don't mean to be a pest santa, but it's been a good solid ten years i've been asking, and it's been a good solid ten years i've had a disappointing christmas morning. don't get me wrong, i've loved every christmas, but the furby shaped hole in my heart has yet to be filled. i'm losing hope for it these days, but i couldn't bear the idea of not asking.

4. a mandolin. to be honest santa, this is sort of a loaded question. i've been borrowing a mandolin from my friend jordan for a bit now, and though any mandolin would do, i've grown attached to this one... and i named her mandy. so for christmas santa, i'd like mandy. i'm happy to pay for her, just make it possible that i can pay for her. as a side note, some actual talent as pertaining to the mandolin would also be much appreciated.

5. assistance through next semester. so, i really could have used your help this last semester, santa. things didn't go so well between me getting sick four times and hating half of my classwork. and not like "i don't want to study" hate, i mean like "i hated the subject matter like you couldn't believe" hate.

6. a successful launch of tng. santa, i'm sure you're aware of this as you'll be seeing plenty of children with a copy of trace's nerdy game on their wish list next christmas. it's a working title, so watch for the title change, but i'm sure you keep up pretty well with these sort of things. anyway, me and a few friends are working on it and trying to get the rules and so on established so we can actually play a game of it. with that being said, i'm more worried about putting it out there than i am developing it. so please be a friend and slip a note to watch for it this year in any nerdy games you give out tonight. by the way, if you're wondering how to play, we've some videos that should help you here.

7. the willpower to exercise and become more manly. santa, we both know i've the personality of an alpha male, now i just need the physique to match. i've been running a bit for a little while, and this summer i "pumped iron" which was satisfying. with school, though, running is trickier and the said iron has not been as easy to pump. so. santa. man to man, be a friend and a)up my willpower so that i have the drive to work out, b)add an extra hour to my day, and then somehow make sure i don't spend my twenty-fifth hour playing peggle, or c)send me a workout routine to follow that includes cadbury advent calendars to give me an incentive to keep it up. also, if you could send me a couple of wife beaters for me to work out in and some cool tribal-design temporary tattoos, that would be nice.

8. another year free of major illness. so, i know i may have made a bit of a fuss over having/not having swine flu and being sick several more times after that this semester, but i don't have anything life threatening or chronic so far, and i appreciate that. another year of that would be delightful.

9. a record deal. so this one really means "please let me play at an open mic night" but i thought i'd be ambitious and just ask for something pie in the sky, dig? thanks. with the production you crank out yearly i don't think it would be hard for you to pull a few strings, my jolly old friend.

10. a new pair of pants. a pair that will make me look really attractive, but not skinny jeans. anything but skinny jeans. maybe the ones with the flares at the bottom. and i'd like if they were just a little snug. i'm sure you understand. life's just not complete without a snug pair of handsome denims.

11. a random three dollar purchase function from ebay. it's fun to order things from ebay for three dollars or less. it would be even more fun to do this occasionally without even knowing what i purchased. that way when i get a package in the mail, the shock of receiving a ________ will be twofold. one, at the object itself, and two that i got it for only three dollars. and since it's not a one time thing, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

12. a signed copy of bonnie tyler's "faster than the speed of night." this is something you ask for because you know you'll never buy it for yourself. you've got the connections, santa. be a pal.

13. a bigger heart. that way, next year i'll ask for things that have less to do with my "gimmeitus" and more to do with helping other people... next year.

thanks santa. i look forward to seeing all of this either under my tree in a few hours or come to be realized in the next year. drop me a line if you're ever in provo during the offseason. we'll do lunch.

your number one fan and selfish little brat,

trace.

pizza grease.

i can't remember i time i really had any sort of problem with food. this of course is assuming that you allow my typical diet to pass as, well, permissible. put it this way, i've never had a problem with having food be a comfort for me. however, as of late, my best friend seems to have been shasta and that pint size roman, little caesar. last week there was a four day period where i had pizza as my main meal each day. two days of little ceasars, one day of something provided for a church activity, and one day of a frozen generic brand pizza--and let the record show i should have just payed the extra seventy cents for the tombstone.

it's just an interesting situaiton. having never really experienced this before, i'm able to make observations as days go on that i wouldn't had this been a normal experience. the biggest one is that my head has undergone a sort of pavlov's dog idea. i go to get a pizza, and like the bell to the dog, this makes me happy. i'm actually salivating long before i even purchase the pizza, both literally and figuratively. it's interesting. i wouldn't go so far as to say that i'm drowning my sorrow in pizza grease, though by the amount i'm eating you might think so. i really should lay off the pepperoni pizza. it reminds me of the film super size me (which is worth a watch if you haven't seen it).

on the other side of my existence is science fiction. this has always been the case as noted in earlier blogs, but nowadays i find myself more and more drawn to it. over the last little while i've 'read' (via free audio-books) several science fiction novels that i would have been embarassed to mention my knowledge of before. classics such as 'deathworld' and 'this crowded earth' have for some reason taken on a remarkably interesting appeal in the last little while. and i'd feel ashamed of myself if i didn't at least mention planet of the apes. i'm currently renting and enjoying the series from the local library and hope to finish the whole thing before the semester begins.

anyway, it's just very interesting what sort of things take your interest and devotion when life's a little slow. it's easy to slip into apathy and let everything slide by without notice and dismiss it all as part of the same boring, unimportant occurence that is life at times. but somewhere between brent searching for taylor and nova getting killed, i started to realize that things are worth bothering about. yes, tired, stressed, and lots of other things, but things are there to look for. i'm starting a semester soon that really will be the first major bridge to cross on my trek to med school; i've free time to do things i haven't in a long while like playing guitar and writing stupid songs that really only appeal to me; i'm watching planet of the apes and listening to 1970's science fiction. you could ask for more, but there are things to be enjoyed already--don't get greedy.

so bring on the grease. tomorrow is another wonderful day and one day closer to a bright future.
also one day closer to the rise of apes, and i'll eat to that.

shorts.(kind of boring)

hello everybody.

i feel a bit lame because i haven't been keeping up with my posts as of late despite some cool stuff happening. suffice to say that madtracker software and job hunting and sleeping have occupied a large amount of my time as of late.

well, all of that and law and order. i love law and order.

in the meantime, i have a few projects that i'm working in the digital music world that should be posted soon with any luck. much thanks to skyler for his input, by the way, which is proving extremely useful.

i'm currently trying to find a way to make this post somehow interesting despite it's entire purpose being only to say "read the next post, it's sure to be worth it."

so in the meantime, i'll make the note of the fact that i'm attempting to begin exercising. this includes a rather humorous trip to the di buy some cheap exercise clothing since i don't actually own any shorts, or anything outside of dress pants, corduroys, and jeans. being that i haven't worn anything at all in the realm of gym clothes since high school, we did what we could in trying to re-aquaint me with the uniform of a gym-goer. now, i'm not especially use to wearing shorts. therefore, the idea of wearing shorts that are even shorter than usual is a bit uncomfortable. to counteract the short factor, i decided to try out the large and xl pairs because they were the only ones that were looking like they would reach my knee.

i tried on the pair that seemed most likely to be the right length, and, well... i pulled a jared.


the shorts i wound up purchasing were indeed a bit shorter than the knee, but i guess fashion comes at the price of modesty at the gym. that's just the way it goes.

i'll let you know if anything funny happens involving a rowing machine or anything of the sort.