quando quando quando.

"do one thing everyday that scares you."
-eleanor roosevelt

in other words, you should be going out of your way to do frightening things everyday. i think eleanor was on to something. as of recent, i've been trying to implement this little gem. in lots of ways.

we'll assume that 'to scare' can be defined as instilling fear. the merriam-webster dictionary defines fear as "an unpleasant, often strong, emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger." danger is defined by the same source as "exposure or liability to injury, pain, harm, or loss." therefore, in order to fulfill this advice, i need to do something that the excites anticipation or awareness of potential injury, pain, harm, or loss. when i map it out like that, it's not so hard.

using the preceding as our jumping point, if i do one of the following things a day, then i'll be following eleanor's words of wisdom.

• correcting people.
  
• cooking something that i'm not experienced at cooking.
  
• doing most anything in front of large crowds.
• doing things i've claimed to be good at.
  
• submitting applications.
• participating in competitions.
• dancing.
• looking down from heights.
• trying particularly foreign foods.
  
• giving presentations.
• showing people personal works (music, writing, etc).
• going into particularly dark places.

now, of course there are many things on this list where saying they scare me is a bit of a stretch whereas others are a bit more unnerving. eating a somewhat frightening foreign food is nothing close to looking down from heights. and heights aren't near what other things may be. however, everything on that list at the very least make me uncomfortable. and at that, many of them are things are things i do pretty often, and even enjoy doing. again, foreign foods are always fun. they still can make me a bit uncomfortable. that's the whole point, though.

it is my belief that eleanor advised this because we're simply a big bunch of sissies in far too many ways. indeed, i am often nothing but a big sissy. and how does one cure one's self of sissiness? by making his or her sissy self face the music. eat a bug, sing to a crowd, and go cliff diving.

and so i shall. sooner or later.

the obturator foreman inspired 3:30 am shift.

so, random.
yesterday morning i woke up an hour early to be able to study up for my anatomy quiz. an hour earlier for me is three in the morning, as i normally begin work at 4:30, thus requiring me to arise around four.
well, that worked just fine yesterday.

today, the time came to awake, i did the morning routine, and headed to work. much to my surprise, when i got to the office to punch in, the room was empty save my supervisor, who greeted me with, "um, why are you here?"

pause.

"i was wondering who was here this early."
a glance to the watch confirmed that i was indeed early. my blessed early morning study method from the day before had (compliments of my absent mindedness) brought me to work an hour early.

"go ahead and just start if you want, then you can leave an hour early."
and so i did.
but i still have a class in this building at 8:00 am. so: no point in going home, just enough time to study. or...
blog! i feel so true to myself now.