balding.

balding i am, more scalp do i see.

in not far future, bald i will be,

but i face with face what comes to me

as wind survived by rooted tree.

as this hair leaves, chops i'll grow--

twill from my crown to jawline flow.

yes, what old men have learned, i soon will show;

hair will come, and hair will go.

in silence find we meaning (includes episode three three in one project).

"silence is a source of great strength."

  --lao tzu

(that means this blog has grown very powerful.)

it's been a while. even by my standards. a lot has gone on since june twentieth, but not too much that you'll care about, so i'll streamline.

first of all, there are two musical projects that i need to get posted. the first was another three in one project. they're already on facebook, but in case you missed them (heaven forbid), here they are (there's more blog-vomit to read after the videos, if you're interested).

 three in one project, episode three:

"psyanky."

 

 "he's all ober this."

"two men, two kites."

the other musical project was my one in seven project. that is, one album in seven days. the whole thing is extremely rough, but at the end of the seven was a collection of thirteen tracks. i'll do another post for those soon, but if you want the album, just get a hold of me and i'll e-mail the whole thing to you in mp3. 

beyond the world of music, i've had a few entertaining experiences. i trained for and was able to finish a sprint length triathlon and a half marathon over the last few weekends. my times were unimpressive in comparison to most people in my age bracket, but for me and my habitually sedentary self, these are nice accomplishments. my right ankle didn't take as kindly to my half marathon, so i've been neglecting the running as of late. however, i'm taking a swimming class this semester which has been a great thing. it's basically a required bit of exercise every few days, and its helping improve my awful swim times. win win. i do have to use the locker room though... so win win lose, i suppose. just the same, it's a great time (the pool--not the locker room).

and the last bit of big news, i'm graduating in december. this is exciting, though also terrifying as i read dozens of articles noting that graduates are having a difficult time finding jobs, and likely will for some time. in case your graduating soon and would like some halloween reading:

college graduates unemployed.

no job for college graduates, so why go?

increase in unemployed graduates.

fresh out of college, slim hope for a job.

and the personal favorite:

jobs crisis could spark riots here

if i don't get a job, at least i can get tear gassed.

still, i'm really excited to graduate. i confess, worksheets are becoming a greater and greater challenge to complete. besides, we all know what happens after i graduate--the chops return and remain in triumph!

--trace.

captain ahab.

over break, i had the pleasure of not shaving for a length of time. when i did shave, i had the pleasure of leaving a set of chops. more particularly, "whaler's chops," "1800's banker chops," "amish chops," or "leprechaun chops" depending on which term you fancy using.

it was a pleasure.

in order to remember the good times before i began school once more and had to shave them off, i decided while in the parking lot of big lots to get a photo or two of me with them. the shot i share with you now is the combination of an afternoon sun, quickshot autofocus, and a car to the side of me squeeling; all at the perfect moment to make this photo look like an abercrombie ad. it doesn't really even show the chops because of the extreme lighting, but oh well. it's for me to remember the good times, and that it does effectively.

lie detectors.

i'm writing this post from my phone as a test, so if formatting seems wacky, accept my apologies.

i recently realized that i would fail any lie detector test. this is not because i'm a poor liar (though i am), but because although i respond well to pressure when it comes to schedules, assignments, etc., i am absolutely terrified of interrogative situations. for whatever reasons, i can't handle it. whether or not i know something, did something, or anything else my nerves loudly rattle when someone interviews/interrogates me as if i do.

i can handle interviews for work or the like, but if i were wrongfully accused of even a petty crime and given a lie detector test, my physiological responses would betray me and i'd likely be found guilty. at least based on the test.

i hate that.

on a side note, i've once again grown the christmas chops.

rockin' in the treetops.

for those of you who don't know me as well, you may or may not be aware of the fact that i enjoy making up stupid little songs typically narrative or first person in nature. and good news to fans of stupid little songs typically narrative or first person in nature, it would seem the typically narrative or first person in nature spark is back. whether this "good news" is actually good is of course debatable. however, it is nice for me.

when i first started playing music (on a conventional instrument) i was taking piano lessons in elementary school. i was going to play the trumpet in school band, but thankfully my mother offered the piano lessons as another option, and with liberace dreams in tow, i accepted them. now, i only kept these lessons up for so long, and today, i am admittedly no expert on the piano now, but two very valuable things came as a result. one. i can still remember several songs i learned to play including "money can't buy everything," "magic man," "money can't buy everything," and one i'm particularly fond of, "oom-pa-pa." two. to this day, most of my understanding of music today remains based in what i learned during this time. after said lessons, i tinkered around with the piano off and on, never really taking it too seriously, and talking about how much i'd love to play the drums.

key in a few years listening to weird al and whatever my brother listened to. mainly fat wreck chords and moon ska. thanks, sky. twas a good time.

then onto my high school years. desperately trying to fit in as a punker with my bleached, twisted-spike hair and cut off cargo paints my parents were kind enough to simultaneously give themselves perpetual headaches and me great happiness when they purchase me a drumset for a birthday. with saturday morning lessons, and constant noise in the house, i can honestly say that i learned to love creating music ("music" being used liberally here) and my piano lessons started showing how helpful they really were as i got more curious about other instruments as i began to actually gain some ability with a drumset. it was a long process going from trying to play the tune of the a-team theme song to actually playing drum like i was "supposed to," but it was a lot of fun. also fun was having a bassist and a guitarist ask me to be a drummer. before you ask, no. we never did anything but school talent shows. but i'm fine with that. it was a delight, even if it wasn't for the audience.

also, my later years of high school offered me the opportunity to try my throat at singing. it was... entertaining, if not a bit painful for everyone else. still, between the kindness of a good drama teacher and a remarkably patient choir director, i was able to survive and enjoy performing in musical theater, the audience was able to survive my performance, and anyone in my car was able to survive the ride home in my jeep. and by "survive the ride home in my jeep," i mean listen to me singing west side story all the way home. passengers were allowed--nay, expected--to join. it was wonderful and i to this day have a soft spot for show tunes because of these experiences and my theater friends. and i'd imagine you can sometimes hear some broadway influence in what i sing now.

as high school went on, my parents were again kind enough to humor my musical annoyances and i was able to try my hands at both guitar and bass guitar. between lessons for both from various sources and my brother's humoring me, i really grew to enjoy them. there are still a few very basic melodies i wrote on both instruments that i'll still play when i pick one of them up. it's usually a little embarrassing, but very nostalgic, so i still do it. same with a few i made up on the piano, including the sea-sick saloon number that my mother still may have nightmares about. you probably would too with the number of times i played it on the house piano.

cut to high school graduation. upon ending high school, i leave my home, guitar and drumset to go to my freshman year at byu. i buy a djembe hand drum and exist for a while doing nothing musically other than "bang on my drum all day." well, that and making amateur tracks with hammerhead rhythm station and windows sound recorder. they were good days... i really should post some of them. they're very much amateur, but entertaining just the same. and i can say that because i'm at least somewhat subjective now thanks to the fact that i put them together about six years ago.

cut from college to the mission ("the mission" being a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). lots of work and not a lot of anything else for some reason spark a lot of ideas and many lyrics were written in a two-pound tesco notebook at night when we had half an hour of free time.

then back home. for the first few months back i had the opportunity of finally finishing/polishing the songs i had started on the mish and was able to put the words to some acoustic guitar and was able to reacquaint myself with my drum set which was delightful. after that, i returned to byu, school started again, and i essentially have spent the time since then playing the same four songs over and over and over again... and wishing i had something more interesting to play.

last year for a few months i was able to play with some computer software and write some digital music which was great, but the analog half of my musical self was still unexercised and flabby with neglect.

but finally, it feels like i've the drive to actually have something more interesting to play. two big reasons i think. first, it's just been so long since i've done much of anything creative that hasn't involved a computer that my desire to finally peaked high enough and it's gotten me out of my creation slump. second, for the first time in ages i've found people to play with, which is a huge boost. this vague shape of a band is a wonderful excuse to start creating again. and funny enough, i find myself being willing to sing in the thing.

that's really what the whole post comes to. i don't consider myself a singer. to be honest, i don't really consider myself a musician. save the drums, my competence on any of the instruments i profess to play is really quite sub-par. i hesitate to consider myself any sort of artist, but if put to the rack over it, i'd consider myself a writer. if you were to take the time (as i admittedly have, and you'd rather not) to look trough my old class notebooks from high school through college you'll see notes sided by countless poems i'd written about anything from my loathing of math to royalty lamenting the need to marry outside of the family. if you look at other sources you can find pieces for the stage including monologues about self confidence and witch burning, and a one-act about story-telling elevator boys. look at even more obscure word files and you can find dozens of unfinished short stories and who knows what that i started and abandoned for whatever reason. after all of my experiences, i still find myself most comfortable with a pen and paper in a desk or performing something that was written there. or eating a grilled cheese. that's also very comfortable. anyway, i guess after ten years of pretending to be an artist, i'm ready to forget the fact that i'm not a singer and sing anyway.

and so faithful reader, you just read twelve paragraphs of lund history so you could read the that last sentence and finally realize what this post is even about. and really, that's the entire post. i think i'll put that line at the bottom in fancy text to make up for making you read all of this for one line... i'm now writing stuff and putting it to use. as in, acting like they're viable works and having people play along with me. should be fun.

goodbye. sorry for being so long-winded and unentertaining. and much thanks to my parents for being supportive in my many worthless and musical pursuits, especially when they were the same ones. goodnight all!

dear santa.

dear santa--

please forgive my writing this so late in the game and for writing it as a blog post. short notice and unconventional format may, i know, work against me. however, the way i see it, you know if i've been (or may yet be in these final hours of christmas eve) naughty or nice, you should be aware of this post. besides, i think mrs. claus is a follower of the blog, so i'm sure she can pass this along. and as far as having what i'm asking for in stock, i feel they are all either run of the mill enough that you have plenty, or they've been unpopular for long enough that you'll be eager to get rid of your surplus from years past. i may even get to of the out of season items. and some of them are more to do with changing some aspect of my life rather than giving me something. those i'm sure will be more long term anyway, so you can take care of those after a bit of r&r following your christmas run. but i digress...

earlier this month i realized i'd yet to write you this year, but with scheduling what it was, the better part of december somehow passed me by and i find myself with you having minimal input on my christmas gifts this year and no thanks for your no doubt generous stop at my house. so. thank you very much for your generosity. and here's my christmas list.

1. a straight razor and all the accompanying components that are needed to use it effectively. for a while now, i've been looking to purchase one. shave ready, if you don't mind. i know you're probably wondering why. here's the thing, i hate shaving. the only fun shaving can be is when i forget to (or let out the rebel inside and choose not to... i know, that's naughty. i usually don't.) and decide to give myself chops. you probably read my post about that a while ago. anyway, since i have to shave either way, i've decided to embrace it and shave like a man. a man from the early nineteen hundreds. or a man who lives in the outdoors for a living. check this clip out and tell me you don't feel the same way. though i can understand that you won't feel quite the same as you've that delightful beard of yours. but just picture yourself in my shoes.

i'll be needing the razor, the water stone, and the strop. i can take care of the brush and soap, though.

2. more facial hair to make shaving it off more satisfying. i have enough to keep it worthwhile, but more would be nice. it's like scraping a car. if there's lot of snow and ice, it's very satisfying. if there's only frost, it's just annoying.

3. a furby. i don't mean to be a pest santa, but it's been a good solid ten years i've been asking, and it's been a good solid ten years i've had a disappointing christmas morning. don't get me wrong, i've loved every christmas, but the furby shaped hole in my heart has yet to be filled. i'm losing hope for it these days, but i couldn't bear the idea of not asking.

4. a mandolin. to be honest santa, this is sort of a loaded question. i've been borrowing a mandolin from my friend jordan for a bit now, and though any mandolin would do, i've grown attached to this one... and i named her mandy. so for christmas santa, i'd like mandy. i'm happy to pay for her, just make it possible that i can pay for her. as a side note, some actual talent as pertaining to the mandolin would also be much appreciated.

5. assistance through next semester. so, i really could have used your help this last semester, santa. things didn't go so well between me getting sick four times and hating half of my classwork. and not like "i don't want to study" hate, i mean like "i hated the subject matter like you couldn't believe" hate.

6. a successful launch of tng. santa, i'm sure you're aware of this as you'll be seeing plenty of children with a copy of trace's nerdy game on their wish list next christmas. it's a working title, so watch for the title change, but i'm sure you keep up pretty well with these sort of things. anyway, me and a few friends are working on it and trying to get the rules and so on established so we can actually play a game of it. with that being said, i'm more worried about putting it out there than i am developing it. so please be a friend and slip a note to watch for it this year in any nerdy games you give out tonight. by the way, if you're wondering how to play, we've some videos that should help you here.

7. the willpower to exercise and become more manly. santa, we both know i've the personality of an alpha male, now i just need the physique to match. i've been running a bit for a little while, and this summer i "pumped iron" which was satisfying. with school, though, running is trickier and the said iron has not been as easy to pump. so. santa. man to man, be a friend and a)up my willpower so that i have the drive to work out, b)add an extra hour to my day, and then somehow make sure i don't spend my twenty-fifth hour playing peggle, or c)send me a workout routine to follow that includes cadbury advent calendars to give me an incentive to keep it up. also, if you could send me a couple of wife beaters for me to work out in and some cool tribal-design temporary tattoos, that would be nice.

8. another year free of major illness. so, i know i may have made a bit of a fuss over having/not having swine flu and being sick several more times after that this semester, but i don't have anything life threatening or chronic so far, and i appreciate that. another year of that would be delightful.

9. a record deal. so this one really means "please let me play at an open mic night" but i thought i'd be ambitious and just ask for something pie in the sky, dig? thanks. with the production you crank out yearly i don't think it would be hard for you to pull a few strings, my jolly old friend.

10. a new pair of pants. a pair that will make me look really attractive, but not skinny jeans. anything but skinny jeans. maybe the ones with the flares at the bottom. and i'd like if they were just a little snug. i'm sure you understand. life's just not complete without a snug pair of handsome denims.

11. a random three dollar purchase function from ebay. it's fun to order things from ebay for three dollars or less. it would be even more fun to do this occasionally without even knowing what i purchased. that way when i get a package in the mail, the shock of receiving a ________ will be twofold. one, at the object itself, and two that i got it for only three dollars. and since it's not a one time thing, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

12. a signed copy of bonnie tyler's "faster than the speed of night." this is something you ask for because you know you'll never buy it for yourself. you've got the connections, santa. be a pal.

13. a bigger heart. that way, next year i'll ask for things that have less to do with my "gimmeitus" and more to do with helping other people... next year.

thanks santa. i look forward to seeing all of this either under my tree in a few hours or come to be realized in the next year. drop me a line if you're ever in provo during the offseason. we'll do lunch.

your number one fan and selfish little brat,

trace.