the scientific method.

so. as many of you know, i was hoping to go to med school. and to be fair, i'm not completely dismissing the idea. however, this last semester has taught me something invaluable--i hate the "hard" sciences. just to clarify, that doesn't mean the challenging sciences, that means things that don't involve people, essentially. psychology, for instance, is often considered a "soft" science. well soften me up, folks, for if soft be psychologists, soft i hope to be. and while the idea of being a medical doctor does still has it's appeal... well, read on.

here's the thing. this semester was an experiment of sorts. the scientific method basically states that to test something, you should make a hypothesis and run the test to see how it goes. simple enough. this semester, i hypothesized that i'd be able to not only learn to beat my science courses, but that i'd learn to enjoy them. my hypothesis was based in my success, my results are based in defeat.

now, another important part of interpreting results that most people (including myself) don't learn until a bit after elementary school science is the idea of the null hypothesis. here's the example, compliments of nassim nicholas taleb. if you do a study to prove there are only white swans in the world, you can never be sure, really. the reason is there may always be a little black swan hidden away in an old man's basement somewhere, completely defying your theory (side note, there are black swans). therefore, certain phraseology is used to ensure that honesty and operational definitions are present. to assume there is no difference or your variable of choice is present(ie, there is no black swan, i don't want to be a doctor) is called 'the null hypothesis.' therefore, if we find a black swan (or find that through my classes i want to be a doctor), we would reject the null hypothesis, as it is not the case (in cases with numbers, this is done statistically, of course). however, if we do not find this to be the case, we cannot simply accept the null. you'll remember the old man with the black swan. you never really know. so instead of saying, "yes, we embrace the null. it's true." we fail to reject the null hypothesis. thus saying that as far as we can tell, the null holds true.

this semester, as pertaining to my wanting to go to med school, i found no black swans. i failed to reject the null. that means that as far as the time being is concerned, i don't especially want to be a doctor. that being said, there are errors that can play into things, of course. but i can honestly say that after this semester of dealing with chemistry again, hating biology, and finding the only bright spot in my week being my psychological testing class, that the null was pretty heavily enforced.

so next semester i'll be taking a sabbatical from all classes outside of psychology, and i'm quite excited. i'll be doing nothing but psych all day as far as academics is concerned, and i'm thrilled about it. the way i see it, next semester's null will be that i don't want to go into psychology as a professional field. i'm sincerely hoping to find a black swan.

and on a sidenote, over thanksgiving break i got to paint my nephews' and one of my niece's faces in the likeness of kiss. it's not really associated at all with the rest of my post, but still cool enough that i'm sharing it.

boom.

irish washerwoman.

so, it's been over a month since the last post. you know what that means, if you're a regular here. time for me to give a brief recap of anything interesting that's happened over the last little while. a bit of content and not a lot of depth. i'm sure you don't mind. 

first of all, i've started learning the mandolin. i came into contact with it jamming with my pal jordan who had a mandolin by way of one friend winning it in a raffle, trading it with another friend for credit toward a bass guitar, and that friend giving it to jordan. and for now, jordan is borrowing my acoustic guitar and i'm borrowing his mandy. good stuff. i'm really enjoying how much character the thing has. jigs were never such fun to play.

the next big time investment has been trace's nerdy  game. basically a card game designed for a player to be able to play and customize in infinite directions. i'd bother trying to explain it, but really i should be writing the rules if i'm doing anything with it since i think i still have people waiting for me to get some on paper. so there. if you'd like to see some of the card designs that i've done, here you go. i'll probably do a proper post about that sometime soon. i'm sure you don't mind not seeing it now.

other than that, work and school, work and school. always a good time. besides the fact that i hate calculus and it hates me. i'm quite looking forward to winter semester. i'm taking a sabbatical from science courses and taking strictly psychology to see how i feel about the med school track. my biggest concern is the fact that i was taking biology earlier this semester, but i dropped it because it worked like a four credit hour class when it was only two hours. but on top of that, i just did not at all enjoy the material. and i'm thinking to myself, "man, this phage and cellular respiration garbage isn't very cool. and... this is a big part of medicine. interesting..." so we'll see. i've definitely made no solid plans, but i may be running back to psychology as a career path and opting for graduate school over med school. we'll see. you know i'll be posting on that later anyway.

and i'm sure your curious why there are no pictures in this post.

simply put, my parents bought a mac recently, and macs and i don't get along so well, and i can't be bothered. i'd rather just deal with no pictures in this one. and if scott happens to read this, no. i'm still not swayed. if anything, my time with my parent's mac makes me love windows even more. so there.

see you later with a post that probably won't come for another little while. 'til then, enjoy the season. i'm off to sword fight with jimmy.

chris kirkpatrick.

this is going to be a short post. and as such, i thought i'd name it after the shortest member of nsync, chris kirkpatrick.


yes, i know the photo isn't really all that fair, but he really is the shortest. ask any real fan and they'll tell you the same.

anyway, short post. i'm attempting to start up a new blog. it's basically themed around notebook art, as in the kind you draw during class, on the phone, at work, or anywhere else where you're really not supposed to be. this is just sort of an invitation to submit some if you wouldn't mind sharing it. you can submit your work or questions to therealreasonfornotebooks@gmail.com. when i get the blog up and running (which is contingent on how much i recieve, if any) i'll post a link to it, of course.

so please do submit. we'll see if this can get anywhere. and we're not picky. if you drew a flaming scorpion in microsoft paint when you should have been studying, submit it.

thanks. i hope to recieve some from the lot of you.

dishonest clicking.

I have been asked what I mean by my word of honor. I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls-- ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground - there is a possibility that in some way or another I will escape; but stand me on a floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the Circle? No. Never! I would die first.
-Karl G. Maeser

for those reading that are unfamiliar with byu's ways and practices, this story will take a little bit of explanation. basically, when you sign apply to byu, and each year you continue, you agree to the byu honor code. it consists of a few basic groups of rules and standards you agree to uphold during your attendance at byu. some included are following church standards of dress and grooming, the word of wisdom (see link for explanation), and of course, academic honesty. it's nice because although i'd imagine you agree to something similar in regard to academic honesty no matter where you attend, at byu so much emphasis is placed on the students having agreed to follow the honor code that the professors are willing to trust the students with a lot more. and to be fair, i've rarely seen students abuse that trust.

on that note, i've a story to relate. if ever i have been tempted to cheat here at byu, i am no longer after this experience. in my biology class, we use iclickers throughout the lesson. they're basically little remotes that every student brings to class in order to answer multiple choice questions posed by the professor. each has an indavidual frequency making it possible for students to recieve credit for answering the question correctly, or answering at all. in this class, something like one point is given for a correct response and two points is given for just showing up to lecture and even being able to answer. well, twas a sad day for karl to look down upon, and a remarkably uncomfortable one for everyone else present. after one such question was posed by the professor, he asked for someone to explain his or her chosen answer. one eager student a few rows ahead of me raised his hand, and the professor called on him as he walked up the isle toward the student. the conversation between the teacher and student proceeded as follows, the professor speaking first.

"alright, go ahead and tell us why you chose c."
"well, i just saw..."
"wait. why do you have three iclickers sitting on your desk?"
"..."
"are you clicking in for students who aren't here?"
(mumbling) "um... no, i..."
"i think you are. that's academic dishonesty."

(a few second pause)

"well, i, i mean..."
"no, it is. you and i both know it."

(ten second pause. the entire class of around 150 students is dead quiet.)

"um... well... i..."
"alright. fine. well then. what was your answer?"
"um... it was... uh... i think..."
"fine. somebody else."

at this point, the entire class is so uncomfortable that we're all just scrambling to move on. thankfully some kid blurted out an answer vaguely connected to the given question and completely incorrect. everone was grateful for it as it made the professor correct him and move on. the kid, though, was able to have his crew of friends surrounding him pat him on the back and whisper (i'm assuming) assurances to him that the teacher was an idiot anyway.

yes, this was probably the most uncomfortable i've ever been in an academic situation. i felt bad for the kid, but at the end of the day, what was he thinking? honestly. you want to cheat, that's you're own choice. but to then be drawing attention to yourself, and then to be showing off the tools of your mischief, seriously. have a little tact.

as a follow up, after class the professor came up to the student and said, "i have the right to flunk you right now, take those i clickers and find their owners and flunk them all as well unless you did it without their permission." at this point i was too uncomfortable to stay and left before i found out if it was just a threat or something more. either way, that really must have ruined that kid's day.

so anyway, for as uncomfortable as i was simply being in the presence of this taking place, i can only imagine how i would feel being responsible. not like cheating was a huge temptation before, but it certainly isn't now. maybe professors should stage something like that at the beginning of each semester... use it as a learning tool.

anyway, there's the story. outside of this delightful experience, things are going well. nothing too exciting to report on, really, but things are going well. hope the same for all of you. so long.

eating time and changing minds.

yeah yeah yeah... we all know i get a bit gung-ho about things without really thinking them over. for those unaware, click on the picture above for a history, but i was planning on joining the air force rotc for reasons listed already in that post, so i won't bother repeating them.

well, as part of my prep for applying, i needed to create a graduation plan. whether or not i join the rotc, i'll realistically be graduating in the year 2012. which is sort of depressing in a way seeing as it's 2009, but we'll let that slide. especially since i plan on a lot more schooling past my undergrad. so here's the deal. with the rotc, i'd be able to do so sometime during that summer, and i'd be scraping by with the very minimum of my science credits. also, i wouldn't actually be finishing them until after i took the mcat, which is basically a sort of act for med school. now, i don't mean to sound like a pessimist, but i cannot realistically think that after no science courses really and minimal experience with algebra and physics that i would stand a breath of a chance at that exam.

so.

i went in and spoke to the pre-med advisers who backed up my thinking that it's not worth putting prep for mcat on the chopping block for rotc credentials, but to instead use all the classes to my prep and get my experience for applications elsewhere where they won't take up class hours. that's what i'll be doing.

it should be noted that i still want to join the air force one day. i still want to go through the air force for med school. this is still very possible. from what i understand you basically need to be competitive for med school in general, and you'll have a good shot for getting in to the air force program.


and in addition to all of this, my gpa was rooting me on as it will be easier to keep up good grades when i have classes to worry about that go towards the mcat as opposed to classes that have me studying air force business and then having to study mcat stuff separately.

so there. i know you're probably disappointed i won't have to keep my hair even shorter than byu standards (which, let's be honest, i could really work on), and believe me i'll miss not getting to twirl around guns like on the armed forces commercials. you're probably also disappointed this post wasn't very entertaining, but it seems my posts are getting more and more like that. you can excuse them being such by focusing on the graphics at the top.

facing books and rotcen meat.

hello again. this post is meant as an explanation as well as a brief update. as you may have noted from other sources, i have for the time being, closed (or soon will) my facebook account. i'll be taking a sabbatical for a yet undecided period of time. it may last until the beginning of the new fall semester, the end of it, perhaps the end of march 2010, or maybe it will never be opened again. the last is doubtful, but possible just the same.

there are several reasons for this, but the only one i'll mention for now is the fact that i've decided to enroll in the air force rotc program here at byu. this normally wouldn't have much of an effect (at least the effect it does now) because it's intended to be done over a time span that would grant two years of preparation before your fate is decided by a board as to whether or not you'll be endorsed as a pre-med and eventual med school student (which is my objective). but i, being a late bloomer, have started later than most, and as a result, must take all of the required courses in one semester, ace my classes, up my personal fitness level substantially, get to know my commanding officers in six months to make up for a year and a half, and prepare like mad for the entry exams (i'll only have one shot at them before i'm reviewed) before the end of fall semester. and facebook is problematic in the amount of time i use it. and for those of you who may whine at this, take comfort in knowing that facebook isn't the only thing on the chopping block.

so, what remains to be done before fall's beginning is complete the application, study for the entrance exam, as well as prepare for the semester ahead by beginning on my chem/anatomy studies to ensure my gpa is raised. likewise raising my personal fitness to meet and hopefully exceed standards set by my peers. which makes me wish to note that if there is one thing that i'm not looking forward to with the program, it's being ranked against my peers. i know it's how things work in the world, but it's still not as pleasant to realize your buddy from class and so on is potentially your reason you didn't get in, or that you're likewise his reason. but oh well, if i don't sabotage anyone's plans or efforts i can't say i'll have a heavy conscience if i proceed while they do not. anyway, that's the big reason. if you're reading this, chances are you already have another way to contact me. if not, check my profile and you'll find a link to my e-mail address. feel free to use it.

please excuse my dear aunt sally.

for the first time in a long time, today i have felt some appreciation for algebra. sure, i've had it prepare me for higher-level math courses and concepts. yes, it makes you sound clever when you can use "logarithmic" as an adjective outside of a classroom or textbook(though i've only heard a choice few times that this has happened). however, for the skull-stretching hours i've invested in the past, today was one of the only times i thought to myself, "wow, it's a good thing i took algebra."

we're currently studying probabilities in my psychological statistics, and it incorporates (dare i say, relies on) algebra. while trying to discover the likelihood of sarah and her two best friends getting into her school of choice with 10 students applying (each student having an equal chance to be accepted, of course), i wound up assisting two of my own classmates with the problem and ending my explanation with, "i'm glad i took algebra last semester."
this of course was a lie. i don't feel all that guilty, though, as it was said in a moment of passion without me cognitively processing it first.

who knows, maybe i meant to say that i was glad i was in algebra for the last two class periods where we learned probabilities. maybe i was just so overcome by my mathematical explanations and the satisfaction of being able to actually explain a algebraic concept that my left brain temporarily held the reigns. whatever the reason, it is satisfying to think that--even for a second--i appreciated having learned upper level math. in some way or another.

thank goodness for people who actually enjoy math, who daily can tell themselves, "i am simply thrilled about having studied math so thoroughly." it means that i will never need to.
to a certain degree.

the obturator foreman inspired 3:30 am shift.

so, random.
yesterday morning i woke up an hour early to be able to study up for my anatomy quiz. an hour earlier for me is three in the morning, as i normally begin work at 4:30, thus requiring me to arise around four.
well, that worked just fine yesterday.

today, the time came to awake, i did the morning routine, and headed to work. much to my surprise, when i got to the office to punch in, the room was empty save my supervisor, who greeted me with, "um, why are you here?"

pause.

"i was wondering who was here this early."
a glance to the watch confirmed that i was indeed early. my blessed early morning study method from the day before had (compliments of my absent mindedness) brought me to work an hour early.

"go ahead and just start if you want, then you can leave an hour early."
and so i did.
but i still have a class in this building at 8:00 am. so: no point in going home, just enough time to study. or...
blog! i feel so true to myself now.