j.c. chasez.

this post is a sad one. and as no member of nsync is stereotypically sad, i simply bing searched "sad nsync" and chose the first member i saw looking sad. even with such a primitive approach, it took quite a while to find one. but in the end, i did.

you've got that right, joshua. it is a time for sadness.

this week, my dear friend and pet, zatch, the blue beta, died in his fishbowl. he was a good little fish. he spent most of his days (after coming home with me) in a fishbowl with yellow and pink dancehall bottom with his good friend skeletor and some floating pods that were supposed to be plants, but instead wound up floating on the top of the water as a sort of misshapen brown beach balls. he enjoyed freeze dried blood shrimp and having his bowl cleaned as needed.

this experience reminds me greatly of when my dog, sadie, died. the situations are very different, of course. but just the same, very similar. it's not quite as emotionally draining for a twenty-two year old to lose a beta fish as it is for a twelve year old to have his dog put down, but the feeling is the same in principle. the level of emotions just aren't nearly as high.

anyway, i'll miss the little fella. he was a worthy member of the apartment and represented his namesake well. i still can't decide why i got all that attached to my late, aquatic friend. he swam around, i fed him and cleaned his tank. somehow in these seemingly impersonal interactions, though, it seems i did. this makes me wonder how i'd take it if i had a plant that died. i can't imagine it would be the same--i'm guessing because plants don't eat. but if i had a venus flytrap, i guess i might.

so, this morning, after cleaning the kitchen and finding a tang lid that i could use to transport him, i took him outside and buried him in the garden in front of my apartment. complete with tombstone to boot. (note: 'stone' was actually a sort of luggage tag)

and so, rest in peace, zatch. you were a good little friend. hopefully your grave will remain at peace at least for a little while. i can't imagine too many people go rummaging through the woodchips in front of my apartment, so it should be safe for now.

fin.