the little lund that could.

in silence find we meaning (includes episode three three in one project).

2011-09-21T13:14:00.002-06:00

"silence is a source of great strength."

--lao tzu

(that means this blog has grown very powerful.)

it's been a while. even by my standards. a lot has gone on since june twentieth, but not too much that you'll care about, so i'll streamline.

first of all, there are two musical projects that i need to get posted. the first was another three in one project. they're already on facebook, but in case you missed them (heaven forbid), here they are (there's more blog-vomit to read after the videos, if you're interested).

three in one project, episode three:

"psyanky."

"he's all ober this."

"two men, two kites."

the other musical project was my one in seven project. that is, one album in seven days. the whole thing is extremely rough, but at the end of the seven was a collection of thirteen tracks. i'll do another post for those soon, but if you want the album, just get a hold of me and i'll e-mail the whole thing to you in mp3.

beyond the world of music, i've had a few entertaining experiences. i trained for and was able to finish a sprint length triathlon and a half marathon over the last few weekends. my times were unimpressive in comparison to most people in my age bracket, but for me and my habitually sedentary self, these are nice accomplishments. my right ankle didn't take as kindly to my half marathon, so i've been neglecting the running as of late. however, i'm taking a swimming class this semester which has been a great thing. it's basically a required bit of exercise every few days, and its helping improve my awful swim times. win win. i do have to use the locker room though... so win win lose, i suppose. just the same, it's a great time (the pool--not the locker room).

and the last bit of big news, i'm graduating in december. this is exciting, though also terrifying as i read dozens of articles noting that graduates are having a difficult time finding jobs, and likely will for some time. in case your graduating soon and would like some halloween reading:

college graduates unemployed.

no job for college graduates, so why go?

increase in unemployed graduates.

fresh out of college, slim hope for a job.

and the personal favorite:

jobs crisis could spark riots here

if i don't get a job, at least i can get tear gassed.

still, i'm really excited to graduate. i confess, worksheets are becoming a greater and greater challenge to complete. besides, we all know what happens after i graduate--the chops return and remain in triumph!

--trace.

three in one project: episode two. (june 19, 2011; 17:54-18:54)

2011-06-20T11:29:00.003-06:00

this is episode two of my three in one project. in case you missed the first one, you can find it here. with the explanation given already, i'll cut straight to the tracks. hope you enjoy. or are at least mildly amused.

"turtles and hellhounds."

this song's suggestion by annie. quote: "a chipper/catchy song, with lyrics narrating some pathetic event as it unfolds before our eyes? i.e. a dog eating your birthday cake."

thanks again for the suggestion.
song title: turtles and hellhounds.

"dewey's departure."

this song's suggestion by neil. quote: " Dewey's first day at army camp, he is sad, misses his friends trace and neil, and he relizes he forgot his pants."

thanks again for the suggestion.
song title: dewey's departure.

"thundering cultural hall."

this song's suggestion by steve. quote: "44 dwarves and a bearded woman playing church ball in the thunder dome.

"thanks again for the suggestion.

song title: thundering cultural hall.

fifty thousand words.

2011-06-01T17:16:00.002-06:00

"when asked, 'how do you write?' I invariably answer, 'one word at a time.'"

-stephen king.

today i'm beginning my june project. rather than sitting around to relax in my scheduled downtime, my goal is to write a novel (albeit an awful one) in that time instead. this was inspired by a few things: the first is that fact that i've been meaning to write a novel for several years now; the second is wanting my downtime to go towards something besides high scores; and lastly, the suggestion of my friend eric. eric gave me a lead to national novel writing month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/), which basically is an event that invites you to take one month and write a novel (at least fifty-thousand words in length) from scratch, start to finish. the actual month takes place in november, but i decided to give it a solo run in june--we all know i'm impatient.

for my mother's sake, i'll remind you it's a downtime project, and my schoolwork, work, etc. come before it. just the fact that i'll have a pet project for a month is a wonderful thought.

it will never be published, likely never be read. but it'll be written--that's worth something, right?

three in one project: episode one. (may 28, 2011; 21:51-22:51)

2011-05-29T10:39:00.003-06:00

"all growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without benefit of experience."

--henry miller. 

for a long time, i've been trying to find a venue/excuse/program of forcing creativity. those of you who've followed me or this blog will recognize these in some of my failed efforts of past including "the real reason for notebooks" and "the weekly wikicast." anyway, i may have stumbled onto one yesterday that i can actually do and keep up. i've decided to call it the "three in one project."

the three in one project is this: obtain three ideas for songs from exterior sources and write these three songs in one hour. following the hour, the songs are recorded and posted.  

the idea came, the invitation posted, songs written, then recorded and posted within a few hours (compliments of the time it took to collect three ideas via a facebook status update and technical difficulties in recording them). the songs were written in the hour, though, and now i've three songs as a result. i've posted them below.

hope you enjoy. but if not, i did.

hugs,

trace.

wintermute.

2011-05-16T13:51:00.004-06:00

"measure twice, cut once."

--zion base founder

(neuromancer, william gibson)

for time first time in a long time, if ever, i'm in a spot where i need to organize on a level far past my experience. this is in no small part due to the fact that much of my planning is reliant on computers.

i've an able enough hand at hum-drum activities on a computer, but utilizing them for planning and record keeping (activities i typically reserve for paper and pen) is a matter foreign to me. so... what to do? it's strange that one of the greatest challenges of my near future is becoming more familiar with computers where for the past three years, i've been more than competent.

for better or worse, me and my lappie will be getting to know each other even better. we'll see what happens.

tic tacs.

2011-03-25T13:20:00.002-06:00

i remember once getting a box of orange tic tacs when i was about twelve years old. my brother worked at the vans shoes shop in the local outlet mall and i'd gone with my dad to pick him up, making a pit stop at a gas station along the way. my father was kind enough to let me grab a treat of some sort, and i bought the box of orange tic tacs.

for whatever reason, the wait was a little longer than my twelve year old self had planned on and by the time we had picked up my brother and made our way home, i'd gotten through more than half the container. when my mother found out she was none too pleased and informed me that "they're breath mints, not candy. you can't just eat them like skittles."

i've a box of tic tacs i've been working on for the last few days. i just barely hit half empty.

my mother would be proud.

l'blog pour l'blog.

2011-03-11T12:51:00.004-07:00

"l'art pour l'art."

("art for art's sake.")

--french slogan (source debated) 

i recently was reading my friend laura's blog where she discussed the purposes behind her blogging. it was a good read, and had me start thinking the my own blog's roots. my first blog post was four sentences long.

quote: 

disaster has  struck, and i'm now a "blogger." or, you could take the immature route  and think that i'm a "booger." i personally think that's the funnier  option.

and on that note, my first blog post is complete.

this was the beginning of something that has now been in progress for two years,one month, and fifteen days as of the time of this post. while this description may make it sound like some sort of noble quest, you, my two readers, surely know otherwise. what it is, in fact, is a little nook of lund on the net. a place for me to ramble and for you to wish i didn't. 

this blog has roots in things since passed and addressed in posts previous in a variety of, at times absurd or stupid, ways. at these times i mainly wanted an outlet besides punching a wall. nowadays, however, i find myself punching fewer walls and needing less frequent bizarre allegories.

so why do i keep this up, my dear two readers?

l'blog pour l'blog.

the point (radio version).

2011-02-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

"it is easy to answer the ultimate questions - it saves you bothering with the immediate ones."

--john osborne 

i just wrote about two pages worth of fury notes animating my feelings toward math, the math department, and the remarkably frustrating feeling of your effort having no bearing on your grade.

after writing this, though, i realized that it would be of little interest to you, my two readers, so instead of posting it, i did as i have in the past--i e-mailed it to myself for keeping and am replacing the post with a brief description of what the original said, along with something that i found to cheer me up and hopefully brighten your day, if only just a little.

and what brightened my day? shaolin monks, of course! here's a taste of what i'm watching, but youtube is stuffed with other clips. what a time.

hope it buoys up your day like it did mine.
best,
trace.

tuesdays with little trace.

2011-02-22T22:09:00.005-07:00

 "when i get a job, i'm not going to be a suit. i'm going to play drums in a punk band and rock 'til i die on stage."

--little trace.

there are times i look at my life, goals, etc., and wonder to myself what little trace would think them. would my high school self be pleased with my college self? in some cases i'm thrilled when my current track matches what little trace would have hoped for and saddened when the two diverge. other times, i'm extremely grateful when they are different and a little saddened when they're one in the same.

this year, though, i've been looking a bit more to my high school self for wisdom that i may have lost since i stopped putting elmer's glue in my hair. my priorities have undergone some substantial reevaluation and plans i've taken for granted a good portion of my college career i've been inclined to reconsider. this is no small part thanks to some recent reminiscing as i went through old junk and yearbooks, as well as taking the time remember back to what i wanted from life when i was sixteen.

some goals of little trace, ranging from childhood through adolescence*:

speak a foreign language (several if possible).
live overseas.
play music beyond drumming along with my cd collection.
study something when i get to college that was as much about being cool as paying the bills.
learn some sort of martial art.
wear glasses.
be famous in a way that meant i could see my name in the news without seeing my picture.
be just like my older brother.
never admit to the last point.
consistently stick it to the man.
get rich and donate a large chunk of my wealth to a worthwhile cause.
eat a lot of foreign food that looks or smells disgusting.
finish with school quickly so i can get on with my life.
go vegan.
go bald.
shave my head once i go bald.
learn to juggle pins.
get a bunch of tattoos.
have a job where i worked with people rather than papers.
have a family.
have a dog.
live punk rock til the day i die.

now. some of these things make lots of sense. i've wanted to learn karate or some other martial art since i saw 3 ninjas as a child and the vegan ideology was big with a lot of the bands i listened to. others, such as "go bald," i have to question--especially as they seem to be coming to fruition with or without my wanting them to. either way, as i've reviewed these priorities and others i've made some changes and undertaken some new efforts. this is because, in some (but not all) ways, little trace was much wiser than balding trace (also known as current trace).

since i abandoned my plan for med school back in the day, i've run with the assumption that i'd be going to school until i got a phd in some field of psychology. why? a few reasons: i didn't want to feel like i failed in not going to med school, and a phd in some branch of psychology, i felt, would prove that i hadn't; i love psychology and figured more of it would be all the better; and i had no idea what else i'd do if i didn't go to grad school. so why am i no longer feeling this way? first and foremost, because i hate school. i love learning, i love research, i love reading, i love many of the people i've been able to work with, and so much more. what have i hated? the school portion of my learning. i can spend hours on the random article generator of wikipedia and on link connections (which, to my discredit, happens more than i'd like to admit) but i genuinely struggle at times with reading ten pages of a text book. however, more than this (somewhat sad) reason, are reasons number two and three.

reason two: somewhere in my academic progression i forgot that i wanted to work with people and not paper--which is exactly the opposite of what i started planning to do as of a year and a half ago. as i reviewed the goals of traces past, this came to my attention, and it sincerely shook me. i've since began making plans for how i can work with people as i wanted to for the majority of my life. what does that mean? well, hopefully it means that i'll be able to work with the people of other countries in developing programs and establishments that are needed. whether or not this particular career path is what i end up in, it's far closer to what i really want to do than anything i've planned on in the last few years.

reason three: i want to start doing things instead of studying for the next four to five years because i can't think of anything else to do. that was an extremely stupid reason for wanting to go to grad school, and i'm a little embarrassed to admit that it was a key reason to my wanting to go to grad school. i don't know what i'll be able to do when i graduate, and i very well may wind up furthering my education in a formal university setting sometime in the future, but not now.

this has been the major change (or collection of changes) that's come from my re-acquaintance with little trace, but others are also present. i've signed up for a basic martial arts course after approximately eighteen years of wanting to do so (bringing me one step closer to my dream of competing in a fighting tournament ala bloodsport), i've started downloading french webcasts to listen to in a baby-steps effort to learn french, and i've started undertaking other efforts that i feel my little self would be pleased to learn of.

at the end of the day, i've been reminded of what i really wanted to do and be by what i use to do and be.

to my dear, unpleasant, punk rocking sixteen year old trace, i give my sincere thanks and apologies for not getting in touch with you sooner. i also apologize for not living up to some of your goals and aspirations that i won't be returning to--you'll understand why when you get to the point where you write this blog.

best wishes,
bigger little trace.

*some goals from earlier childhood were initially included, but ultimately omitted from the main list to avoid confusion. they were: live on an island with monkeys, marry megan c. from my fourth grade class, own a racing motorcycle, and play for the utah jazz or be an astronaut if i didn't make the team.

dr. dohn m. denison secondary school.

2011-01-16T12:53:00.002-07:00

"Dr. J.M. Denison S.S. is a public high school in the York Region District School Board located on 135 Bristol Rd, Newmarket, Ontario, Canada and it opened in 1989. Additions were built in 1991, and a new technological studies wing was completed in late 2009. The school is just south of the border between Newmarket and East Gwillimbury, but the school address is in Newmarket."

--wikipedia

sometimes i'll commit to doing thing only because it'll make me do something i wouldn't do if i just had to say yes or no at the moment of the opportunity. such is the case with a local music venue's singer/songwriter competition. i received an e-mail last monday saying that they were having a week long equivalent to a battle of the bands where five (i think) people will play a twenty minute set of their original stuff. winner for audience and judge's choice. realizing it was an interesting opportunity, but i wouldn't do it if i got there and didn't have to, i immediately wrote back and signed up. so now i have to, which is a good thing. it's intimidating, but i'll survive at any rate.

the predicament this puts me in now is what songs to play. my current game plan is to do two songs on guitar and then two to three (depending on time) on the ukelele. i'm deciding on my guitar ones, as i've a few i can readily use. however, my ukelele ones present an opportunity to spew some creativity as i've got two songs with the music laid out that i would love to use, but no lyrics as of yet for either. so i'm looking for things to write about. wikipedia's random article generator (a favorite passtime)has been helpful for this sort of thing in the past (and is the source of the article at the top of the page), but it's still not proving very helpful.

so. here's the scoop. i'm posting two songs up with their working titles i had pertaining to where they might go. it would be very helpful for me if you could post a comment stating what each, or one of the songs make you think of so i can possibly use it as a basis for writing the lyrics. you can feel free to use the working titles as a basis for your ideas, or forget the titles altogether. if i choose yours, you won't get much out of it... but i'll mention your name and buy you a soda sometime.

the songs.

(oh, and as a sidenote, these aren't the whole of the songs, just the gist so you get the general feeling. also, i look angry in both videos. i'm not sure why that is.)

good day to grow a beard.

peruvian tracy.

thanks again in advance.

flourescent gore.

2011-01-08T17:58:00.013-07:00

poetry is a habit of mine that fluctuates in its frequency. typically it comes when i've a few minutes to spare or my mind is wandering. because of this, bedside scraps of paper and math notebooks tend to attract a lot of it.

i think i'm going to start posting some of it from time to time (starting with this post) to help keep them somewhere that isn't as readily lost or thrown away. also, it may help flesh out the blog with some more regular posts. or perhaps just flood it with garbage. but if i was afraid of posting garbage, i wouldn't both posting anymore.

1:07

in less than a minute you will change--
color soon will rearrange
from the red shapes on black i saw before
and again you'll adjust in a minute more.
electric black and florescent gore,
the devil's cattle on on a midnight range.
    yes, you've no hands to tell of time.
    you need them not, small clock of mine.

bean of light

kidney bean on my wall,
what's your point in being?
have you a goal you're chasing?
have you a fear you're fleeing?
or is fate with you agreeing
and softening you with good intentions?
or do i label you with my own fears and contentions?
you're likely just another false projection i am seeing.
     i confess, the latter smacks more true,
     but i feel less concern for me than you.

p.s.--a quick note: though i love poetry, i've never been able to take it very seriously. feel free to read anything you like into this stuff, but know that what i put into it is of consistently shallow substance.

captain ahab.

2011-01-05T10:10:00.001-07:00

over break, i had the pleasure of not shaving for a length of time. when i did shave, i had the pleasure of leaving a set of chops. more particularly, "whaler's chops," "1800's banker chops," "amish chops," or "leprechaun chops" depending on which term you fancy using.

it was a pleasure.

in order to remember the good times before i began school once more and had to shave them off, i decided while in the parking lot of big lots to get a photo or two of me with them. the shot i share with you now is the combination of an afternoon sun, quickshot autofocus, and a car to the side of me squeeling; all at the perfect moment to make this photo look like an abercrombie ad. it doesn't really even show the chops because of the extreme lighting, but oh well. it's for me to remember the good times, and that it does effectively.

lie detectors.

2011-01-02T14:35:00.004-07:00

i'm writing this post from my phone as a test, so if formatting seems wacky, accept my apologies.

i recently realized that i would fail any lie detector test. this is not because i'm a poor liar (though i am), but because although i respond well to pressure when it comes to schedules, assignments, etc., i am absolutely terrified of interrogative situations. for whatever reasons, i can't handle it. whether or not i know something, did something, or anything else my nerves loudly rattle when someone interviews/interrogates me as if i do.

i can handle interviews for work or the like, but if i were wrongfully accused of even a petty crime and given a lie detector test, my physiological responses would betray me and i'd likely be found guilty. at least based on the test.

i hate that.

on a side note, i've once again grown the christmas chops.

robin of christmas.

2010-12-22T01:59:00.006-07:00

it's  1:33 am, robin hood is playing on the television, roger is asleep on  the couch's fold out bed and neil is bobbing in and out of attention to  the film while his head keeps resting on my right arm. i'm still awake  compliments a winter break schedule that little regards night and day,  and christmas is now approximately seventy hours away. 

as  much as i remember each christmas holiday, i remember just as well past  christmas breaks that accompany it, at least since high school when i  really started giving it an effort to make my breaks count. i do enjoy  it. 

and  what's the point of this post? nothing i can put my finger on. it's now  1:53 am and writing two paragraphs has apparently taken twenty minutes.  by the time i post this, it'll likely be around two am even. i'll post  this for the sake of its posting rather than the sake of any content. 

dangerous living.

2010-12-06T15:43:00.004-07:00

dangerous smells, dangerous tastes,

dangerous fuels sold at dangerous rates,

dangerous folk in a dangerous place.

oh dangerous people, the dangers you face.

--terrance long

people love throwing around statistics. it's a sort of societal hobby we have, and though most of us are hesitant to accept many statistics we hear as true without some investigation, we still love hearing them. we love believing them, devaluing them, relying on them, disproving them, pointing to them accusingly, and coming up with them ourselves--sometimes legitimately.

i won't bother posting any as there is a practically infinite number of other blogs that will readily present them if you drop them into a bing search. anyway, some of the most popular statistics to make their way amongst us by way of facebook statuses, blogs, pop magazines, and your insightful friend are ones that compare the danger of a more traditionally frightening event to a less traditionally frightening event and end with the statistics that show that fear of the more frightening event isn't justified. for instance: "i don't know why you're so afraid of riding a roller coaster. did you know that one out of every (very large number) people will die in a roller coaster? one in every (smaller number) people will drown in the bathtub!"

i think we all acknowledge that some of these statistics may be true in principle, but a large majority of them include exaggerated or entirely fabricated numbers. likewise for the actual activities as well. rather than try to examine this issue, let's just take it as face value.

i would guess there are three reasons we seem fascinated with this type of  statistic. one, it makes a possibly boring fact (roller coasters are relatively safe) seem much more exciting by tethering it to apparently exciting or shocking fact (baths are very dangerous). two, these statistics can (if the listener takes it as a truth) be very persuasive. three, and the one which i find intriguing, is that i think we like the idea of making boring activities seem dangerous.

who does the media idolize? amongst others, the media idolizes people who live dangerously. action stars, daring spies, brainy detectives who pack a desert eagle. these people live dangerously and we enjoy, and possibly envy, their exploits as we watch. so, is our making the bland seem dangerous an effort for us to get the odd thrill by thinking crossing the street holds more mortal danger than juggling loaded pistols? perhaps. a very minor and boring idea to take up this much text, but one i felt like writing on. 

so. want to live dangerously? take a bath.

jane and pandora.

2010-12-01T23:57:00.009-07:00

the box, once opened, try as you may,

will remain open, its contents forever free. 

the insides, once hidden, will from now till last day

a burden, a blessing, a knowledge will be.

--terrance long

it's been a fun month or so since my last post. all sorts of entertaining updates that i'll be sharing with you, my two dear readers. nothing too crazy, i grant you. just the same, things worth writing about. though by that standard i could probably share just about anything--i'll limit myself. we'll keep it to two big developments.

first, i've had the opportunity to hop back into theater as of recent. through a friend of a friend connection i wound up auditioning for 'austenland,' a play based on the book of the same name. what's more, i was cast. it is, in short, the story of jane (our protagonist) who finds herself in a resort based on the regency period and world of jane austen. i'll leave the summary to wikipedia, but suffice to say it's a winner. rehearsal's been going on for a few months now, and performances are tomorrow. all three unlucky audiences will have the responsibility of hearing my british accent and watching me pretend i'm charming. lucky you that you're only reading about it.

that being said, the show on the whole is turning out quite good. i look forward to watching the recording of it after the whole bit is over and congratulate jenny and the company on the fruition of her writing and directing efforts as well as the efforts of the whole ensemble. way to be.

second, in october i opened the pandora's box of vegetarianism. what began as an experiment to get me in the habit of a)eating more vegetables and b)making myself more aware of my diet has become something that very well may be a permanent component of my diet. before i give the reason, i preface with this disclaimer: it is my choice as pertaining to me as much as its your choice pertaining to you, dig? so if you feel differently than i, i assure you i'm not upset in the least, and would find it reasonable for you to not be upset likewise. and on to my reason...

basically, after going a month without eating meat or other animal products (in the sense that it came from a dead animal) i made the realization that i didn't really miss them all that much. a bit, sure. but honestly, it was far more a shift than a struggle. this being the case, considering what takes place in order for me to eat a bit of meat, i can't really justify it. the same way that i enjoy a good michael jackson album but wouldn't exchange a finger for it, i just can't see me eating meat or bone scrapings or whatever else as reasonable. this is the pandora's box i've opened. prior to october first, i was unaware of this fact. by the end of october, the lid was wide open. and thus it is.

so there you go. two updates for two readers. til next time,

--trace

p.s.--i'm undertaking a new pet project. check it out if you fancy. you'll find it here--the weekly wikicast.

the chair.

2010-10-20T13:09:00.008-06:00

"and if by my efforts
i become someone i like,
maybe that someone will be a somebody
in time and history's sight."
--terrance long

a chair is a delightful thing. chairs come in a remarkable variety of styles, colors, shapes, sizes, and aesthetics. a good chair can be practical or frivolous, large or small, ornate or homely, and belong to one or many persons. if we're thinking in terms of plato's theory of forms, any chair could be the chair given that it suits the role its been assigned.

as i've recently read many a text on world issues, global struggles of various sorts, local problems and those plaguing distant lands, i've wondered what role i've to play in being a positive force in relation to any of them. i find hope in the chair. some of the best chairs i've encountered in my life have been modest in appearance, upkeep, or even comfort--but suit their opportunities to play their parts blissfully.

my goal in life is to suit my part blissfully.

blogging about paper.

2010-10-12T12:44:00.004-06:00

*important*
to read this post, click on the giant notebook. feel free to scroll down after you read it.

now feel free to scroll down.

in case you were curious, this is what it looks like without the flip--with matchbook authenticity check even! just click on this notebook to see it in a better, more glorious resolution.

remarkably pleasant things.

2010-10-11T11:22:00.006-06:00

"love is like a butterfly,
as soft and gentle as a sigh.
the multicolored moods of love are like its satin wings."
--dolly parton

i love dolly parton, and i love this song. it's delightfully pleasant. and this prompts this thought--that i feel sometimes that pleasant things are under appreciated. the fact is that when people could have something exciting, new, or especially "wow!" they'll typically choose it. that's my guess as to why much of classic folk music has lost its popularity. we've, as a society, swapped out the pleasantries of folk music for the loud, zippy beeps and rubbish lyrics of dance hall music. why? because while dolly parton's pleasant, she's not as exciting or ridiculous as lady gaga. because while the dubliners are charming, they're not as sexual as fergie (thankfully). because while listening to burl ives and drinking an herbal tea is hard to beat, you can't escape the beat of a heavy dance hall anthem.

there is a place for different genre's for certain. i don't especially enjoy dance hall music, and i never listen to it. likewise, i'm sure there are others who'd say the same for folk music. the important thing here is that the same way for every adventure you go on, you should have the moment of relaxation to match--for the loud and exciting music of your fancy, enjoy something a bit more soft and pleasant. i assure you, it's an enjoyable experience.

and if you need somewhere to start, by all means, dolly parton is a great jumping point.

illusory correlations.

2010-09-29T14:26:00.011-06:00

"of course i failed--i forgot to wear my lucky trousers."

the most clear and concise explanation of illusory correlation that i've found comes from wikipedia: "the phenomenon of seeing the relationship one expects in a set of data even when no such relationship exists." data here can be taken as traditional data (statistics, reports, etc.), and can also be applied to a broader scope in understanding it as events, experiences, perceptions, and so on.

this is a common phenomenon and examples of it can be found in most any context. stereotypes are an extremely common example, studies claiming correlation between environmental factors and personal effects can readily fall victim to it, and people simply seeking explanations will typically find them, though they may be completely irrelevant and utterly incorrect (conveniently animating this principle). this is why someone may think that people named trace are not as handsome as neils or rogers(after people meet me, neil, and roger), that pot roasts cure colds (after an ill child pips up after a bit of beef), or that a pair of trousers dictates his or her academic fate (after a success or failure in a pair of 501s).

i've not failed any tests as of recent, but illusory correlations have certainly seemed to have played a role in many of my recent actions. both in the way i make decisions and in the way i explain the reasons of their successes or failures, retrospect and further experience seems to be showing where various correlations were indeed illusory.

from merriam-webster:
illusory: based on or producing illusion.
correlation: the state or relation of correlated. specifically : a relationship existing between phenomena or things.

conversations with sheila.

2010-09-21T15:45:00.010-06:00

"good mornin' starshine, the earth says hello.
you twinkle above us, we twinkle below.
good mornin' starshine, you lead us along
my love and me as we sing our early mornin' singin' song.

glibby gloop gloopy, nibby nabby noopy, la la la lo lo.
sabba sibby sabba, nooby abba nabba, le le lo lo.
tooby ooby walla, nooby abba nabba,
early mornin' singin' song."

--sheila (hair, 1967)

the preceding selection contains one of the most unappealing bits of lyricism i've ever heard or would care to imagine. i find them such for the two main reasons of one) them being nonsensical, cheap rhymes and two) failing to make up for that by not even being pleasing to the ear. they don't roll off the tongue, and they don't flow to the ear, and they don't drive to the heart--or anywhere else in the body for that matter. now don't get up in arms--i do like this song. i hate the "early morning singin' song," but do enjoy the bulk and presentation of it. and besides, to a degree i can appreciate the fact that though sheila sounds ridiculous (not in an entertaining or mutually enjoyable way, but in an "it hurts to watch" kind of way) she very well may be trying to say something very reasonable--maybe even important.

i can relate to that at times. i've something relevant or important to say and all i can do is speak the early mornin' singin' song. it's rather frustrating, as i'm sure at least one of you two readers can relate. but oh, the things i would be saying if i could be saying it. what secrets are being held hostage by sheila's inability to escape the early mornin' singin' song? maybe many, maybe few, but the tragedy is that we'll never know. at least until the sequel to hair comes out...

--trace

clever harry.

2010-09-19T10:50:00.015-06:00

"Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack."

--Harry Emerson Fosdick

harry was a clever guy. i don't agree with all that he supported or lead, but some i do. and whether or not i agree with any of it, i can at least acknowledge that he is a very clever harry. a very clever harry indeed.

cynicism isn't a good thing. i'll rarely be so absolute in my statements (the fruit of being a psych major--you qualify everything you say with "usually," "often," or something equivalent), but i feel bold enough at this moment about this particular point that i'll just go hog wild. webster defines a cynic as "a faultfinding captious critic; especially: one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest." "captious" being "marked by an often ill-natured inclination to stress faults and raise objections." honest, practical, pragmatic, realistic--these are the vessels or reasoning that, often, cynicism will use to present itself. the fact is, you can be honest, practical, pragmatic, and realistic without being cynical. it's the difference between "we've poor odds" and "don't bother trying" or "i haven't had the best experiences in dating" and "screw dating."

i'm a cynic at times. depending on subject and timing, i certainly can have a cynical streak as i suppose many of us can. i guess it depends on when and where you talk to me--but if you know me well, you probably don't even need to. either way, like harry pointed out, it's typically an absence of something, and i'll add negative experiences, that lead to cynicism.

this being the case, i think just about every person i know has "discover[ed] what [i] lack" already.

logically, though, i can't seem to make the connection that this means one can see what a person is optimistic about, and see what they have. my best conclusion is that an optimist is a person who may or may not have a lack in a given area, but fails to see the point in being a cynic about it, and sees the value of positive outlook.
in some areas i'm quite the optimist. in others, eh, not so much. but according to the logic i've pieced together--that's very stupid. i should just be an optimist.

--trace

fluid inspirations.

2010-09-17T09:42:00.021-06:00

there are several years between the writing of stephen king's "pet semetary" and its being published. this is, in part, because of its inspiration. the book was inspired by a series of events taken place in his rented home in maine. the house was just alongside a major truck route which would be the cause of death for man local pets. because of this, there had been established a pet cemetery on the other side of the freeway. after burying his daughter's cat (a victim of the busy road), the principle of 'the cat came back' came to mind. the idea of this dead cat being buried and coming back, as he puts it, "alive but fundamentally different." a zombie cat, if you will. the question was then, what would happen if a person were to be buried there? it was this, in combination with a recent experience of narrowly stopping his son from being struck by a car that gave inspiration to the feelings, ideas, and story of semetary. however, when king had finished the book, he didn't review or submit it for publication for several years. he saw the inspirations of the work, and he simply wasn't ready to touch something with roots in the idea of a loved child coming back from the grave to kill--particularly as that idea was at least partially rooted in the experience of his own son nearly being killed. not for a period of time, anyway. eventually it was published, of course, and gained great popularity.

i'm not writing a novel, and nothing that i'm working on has near as deep or upsetting roots. however, to a degree, i can appreciate the idea of creating something and whether in the act or ex post facto, having some serious misgivings about it because of what inspired it. i think that's why i tend to take the more liberal feeling towards art and say that art's inspiration and meaning are flexible according to the environment surrounding it.

i don't normally post stuff i write--mainly because i feel if i'm going to share it at all, i'll play it. but, for this once, i'll break that rule. this is a song i wrote on my mission while in boston, england. we drove by a fish and chips shop called "queen of the sea" with the word "fish" before it and the word "chips" after it. i scrapped the "chips" and stole the remaining words to make the title of a very simple song. at the time, it had some loose inspirations. about two years later, the meaning would change, affecting my perception of the inspirations, happened again about a year after that, and is still changing today. anyway, i thought i'd share it. and as a sidenote--this is a sad song, but it's played with cheer. so as you read it, don't let it sound too tragic.

"fish, queen of the sea."
so swim, oh swim away. swim away oh sea queen.
you know i love you dear, but we know you're no ruler here.
you off and heading home, with and among your own,
means more than you being mine.

so swim, oh swim away. swim away oh darling.
both families wondering now why we are even bothering.
i wish that we could be, a royal family.
you know i'd walk and swim the line.

but you are a sea queen, and i'm a man king.
we fell into love's trap, now we have to mind the gap.
the problems we're to face aren't solved by being in love.
where could we even live--what place is neither underwater nor above?

and my people say of me, "our king is crazy.
he sees her fleeting whim, he sees it as her loving him.
he sacrificed and sought her, old retired triton's daughter--
did he think fate would care?"

but please my lady, do be pleased to know
it's i that's over them, and i still love you so.
put water out of thought, still if you i'd caught
you're optimistic dreams i would share.

but you are a sea queen, and i'm a man king.
we fell into love's trap, now we have to mind the gap.
the problems we're to face aren't solved by being in love.
where could we even live--what place is neither underwater nor above?

sea queen, oh sea queen. stranger love old time has seen--
but no doubt we're the strongest love that's been all as strange.
cruelest of jokes it seems. tinkering with our hearts and dreams.
no doubt we're the pride or shame of all the loves time has arranged.

you know i love you but farewell.
me to the sea, you to the land.
we do not match though we belong.
i hope our hearts will understand.

was this song originally written with a girl in mind? why yes, yes it was. over the years, has this been about the same girl? no. has it always been about girls? no. in fact, for quite a while it was about my not being a theater major. long story short, at this point, the inspiration (though sentimental) has given way to application. i apply this song to my current situations when i play it, as i do with everything i've ever written. i like it that way.

so. why was stephen king able to publish this story? i think, in part, because there comes a point that you can stand apart from your own work and its inspirations and at least begin to appreciate and view it objectively. when that happens, you can enjoy what you made without having to enjoy where it came from.

wow... this post has gotten long winded. i'll try to wrap it up.

i started a song on monday and finished it wednesday. its inspirations and implications are already changing. that fluidity is greatly appreciated. so what's the moral of this post? could be that some things are changing, could be that i'm a non-linearist when it comes to time, could be that whatever is causing a person upset can be altered by perception, or it could be that i've a motive i won't bother sharing.

ironic as it may be, its changed a few time while writing it.

--trace.

doin' the fresh water jive.

2010-09-15T11:30:00.002-06:00

just a quick note. the last post up, "fresh water," is an assignment for a biology class that was requested to be turned in via a blog. i figured you, my two readers, may be confused as to why i decided to post such. so there's your explanation. and to make this post more than just a paragraph of announcement, here's a delightful bit of music for you to enjoy.

with hippie love,

--trace

fresh water.

2010-09-15T11:26:00.001-06:00

Imagine, for a moment, a dinner party. You've enough food for ten guests, but you only have five guests present. You've more than enough. However, if you were to have twenty guests, the food which was so abundant before is now hardly enough, if enough at all. This problem is kin to the problem facing us today with our supply of water. We are not losing water per say, but we are increasing in the number of people requiring it. As mentioned in Kingsolver's article, the same water that was here for the dinosaurs remains here today--but the demand is dramatically increasing. There are two basic components to the solution to this problem. The first is that we must preserve our current supply by preventing and, as best we can, reversing the effects of pollution on our water sources. The second is actively seeking to distribute water in a way that that allows needs to be met while ineffective or abusive uses of water are minimized.

Water here in the past is water still here today. However, if we are to use it we must maintain the integrity of our water sources. Returning to the dinner party analogy, polluting our water sources is the equivalent to setting out a portion of the already limited meal to rot. We cannot seek to successfully meet our water needs without ensuring we're maintaining our water sources. Hottam makes note that the sources of the pollution may come from a variety of sources as it does for the Ganges river, including refuse, as well as corporate and human waste (2010). It is not a situation where any one is the sole party responsibility. Instead, the polluting was a group effort, as will need to be the correction.

In addition, the results of pollution are not simply directly into water sources, but also in affecting climate. Moving weather patterns and adjusting water flows have significant impact on those who reside in places where the water will no longer go. Humanity's role in these changes is a topic of research and debate for another time. However, it is important that we recognize that at the very least, we may play a part in it, and that we certainly have reason for concern over it. Again, we must act as a society in a direction that minimizes our impact on the environment.

We all need water. We all want water. Where these to divide is an important place to mark. If we all are to have the water we require, we must be able to distribute and share our limited resource amongst ourselves. Kingsolver mentions the example of cattle ranchers sharing a pasture. Without self-imposed, agreed upon limitations to grazing, the resources of the pasture are quickly lost as it is over grazed. Limiting use is the key to maintaining the resource. In the same way, if unchecked, use of water without consideration of the whole of society leads to overuse in some areas, limiting its availability in other areas. An example of this is present in Beijing. As noted by Zhang and colleagues, in 2003 Beijing's population overcame it's water supply with demand from a growing population. While currently making do, it was not without some adjustments being made to the operations and use of water that the city was able to do so (2010). Applying this principle on a global scale allows one to begin to appreciate the potential problems we are facing. Likewise visible is that it can be addressed in a way that it can be managed by public law and policy concerning the appropriate distribution and use of limited water resources. This may be on local, national, or global levels, but are necessary whatever the path they take.

Water is a building block of life, and it can be difficult because of this to think of it as limited in more than a personal sense of sprinklers and water supplies, but in a broad, global way. Water can only be spread so far, and we must act in a way that allows what resource is available to be used effectively and equally between all of us. By addressing concerns of pollution and taking action to keep track of and effectively control water use we can address this issue in a way that allows needs to be met. In short, ten plates can be enough for twenty guests.

Works Cited

Kingsolver, Barbara. "Fresh Water. (Cover story)." National Geographic 217.4 (2010): 36-59.

Hottam, Jyoti. "How India's Success Is Killing Its Holy River." Time 176.3 (2010): 28-33.

Yingxuan Zhang, Min Chen, Wenhua Zhou, Changwei Zhuang^, and Zhiyun Ouyang. "Evaluating Beijing's human carrying capacity from the perspective of water resource constraints." Journal of Environmental Sciences. Volume 22, Issue 8, August 2010, 1297-1304.

george michael.

2010-09-14T09:15:00.009-06:00

my friend laura is currently undertaking a project having to do with grief, made up of visual and written components. whilst discussing it, one thing she pointed out is the fact that often grief is sourced in the death, not of people, but of relationships or opportunities. and that made me think of george michael.

i should have thought of wham, but i thought of george michael. forgive me, andrew.

this is one of my top ten songs of all time. possibly my top five, depending on when you ask me. this is the song i listen to when i'm grieving, so to speak. not death related grief, but for grief related to everything else. end of a relationship? missed internship opportunity? red head didn't return my flirtatious advance? time for some wham.

i could go into an in-depth analysis of why this is. but i shan't. suffice it to say that this song is perfect for it. this song is a lament of the loss of something loved, the acceptance of a loss, the celebration of the future. i can dig that.

that being said, i don't want you, two readers, to think that things are bad right now. things are going well for me, and i'm enjoying them at that. this conversation just sparked this thought and i thought i'd share it in case either of you needed a good break up/grief song. it is, in my opinion, the best of its breed.

and in case you need a pick-me-up more than a break up song, don't worry--we're still covered. enjoy!

check a box, before you go go.
--trace.

p.s.--one of these days i'll have a reason to post the best "things are great" songs. i guess... i gotta have faith.

negligence.

2010-09-12T23:28:00.004-06:00

blog--
four months is a long time to neglect a blog. i don't feel guilty for the months i was at scout camp. i only had the twenty cents a minute kiosk from kinkos in logan to access the internet, and only on saturdays at that. i do, however, feel i owe you an apology for the weeks since i returned that i spent not writing to you. you understand it wasn't an issue of not wanting to do--but simply not doing. it doesn't excuse it, but perhaps it can help you understand that i meant you no ill.

things have been good for the last while. school is busy and my reappearing social life is treating me well. i'll spare you the slur of more detailed updates and assume that you'll be content to know that things are mostly good with enough bad to keep things interesting. it's a balance i'm comfortable with for the time being and will be enjoying until the equilibrium changes. i've been following the epicurean ideals in my own way for a while, and plan on straying from that soon. we'll see if the wave goes up or down after that.

sorry i've not a lot that's especially exciting to share with you. hopefully i will soon. i hope that if nothing else the break has been a time for you to relax, enjoy the slow pace of the summer, and that my returning to you will be a welcome back and not a 'let's have one more month' sort of situation... either way, you know we were made for each other. and i appreciate that.

with love,
trace.

the tragedy of 'skip track.'

2010-05-24T23:57:00.015-06:00

i think the feeling that i have towards cassette tapes is reminiscent of the feeling those in generations prior to my own have toward vinyl. there's a certain romantic quality to a cassette tape.

in my mind, an album is (or can be) as much a piece of work as the tracks themselves. a song can be made or broken by the songs surrounding it, and it's no small credit to cassette tapes for making me feel this way. because it was quite a pain (though possible) to fast forward through tracks and hit the next one at its beginning, i never bothered. as a result, there were several songs that i wouldn't have enjoyed that become favorites.

today, i favor a mix cd over a tape. for one, my car doesn't have a tape player. for two, i can make a mix cd in about fifteen minutes, as opposed to the hour or two that mix tapes take. here's the rub. when i make a cd of new music for listening, i find myself skipping tracks. tracks that i apparently thought good enough to put on the cd in the first place, but in the moment impatience all too often wins and a morrissey track gets skipped because i'm never giving it a chance to soak in. therein lies the tragedy. with the convenient ability to freely roam the field of any given cd comes the loss of the obligation to listen to it all. and really, i miss that obligation.

bookmark.

2010-05-07T09:45:00.004-06:00

so... it's been a while since i've posted anything and it'll probably be a while yet before i have a chance to post anything really substantial.

so i decided just to post something so any of my three readers will know that i haven't forgotten you, i've just been busy and/or lazy. my apologies, and here's a link to hopefully entertain you for a bit to make up for my lack of posting.

ladies and gentlemen, i give you the edgar winter group.

until next time,
trace.

respectowiggles and drinks.

2010-04-06T23:41:00.022-06:00

"good morning, guests. though when i say good i don't mean it won't turn to rain or it might be snow, or fog, or thunder. you didn't get any sleep, i dare say."

there's something innately good and wholesome about reading in public spaces. i think the stereotypical yuppie reading in a coffee shop is onto something.

today i finished the silver chair from the chronicles of narnia. it's my third time reading through the series, and it's been quite enjoyable rereading and finding the stuff i'd missed in the readings prior. i've been reading through the series at work on break and when the cleanings done at the end of shift. today at work's end i had just short seventy pages left, and on the way home stopped at a local burger place and finished the book over a 'stubby double with cheese' and an order of fries. i'm not sure why it is, but for some reason reading a book in my room is completely different from reading somewhere outside the door of my apartment. i think it's the fact that you're going out of the way for leisure. you're not bored at home so you read. you're not going out to take care of business. you're going somewhere with a book for the purpose of doing something you don't need to do, you just want to do it. and there's something very freeing about that.

tonight, keeping with typical habit, i picked up a soda with the meal and enjoyed about a can's worth of dr. pepper and coke (a lovely little pop cocktail, or poptail, called 'black gold' according to the burger king soda charts). it's interesting. i used to get medium drinks. i don't anymore as i made the realization that my satisfaction with my drink has nothing to do with the size and everything to do with simply having that annoying, but nonetheless satisfying sort of growling noise you get when there isn't enough soda left to fill the straw. this started as i realized that a medium drink is often double or double plus the size of a can of soda, yet i'm as satisfied finishing one as the other, and the can typically doesn't end in the same digestive unease. so i started getting sodas that are closer in size to cans than kegs. i'm now actually enjoying the meals more. just an interesting little observation. if you're big on big sodas, i might recommend giving this a try.

and that's about it for now. thrilling business, no?

my religion.

2010-04-04T10:17:00.013-06:00

i'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. i was raised in the church, had the opportunity to take part in various responsibilities within it growing up, and spent two years as a missionary in the united kingdom. since returning from that service, i've been able to have various more responsibilities.

the reason i bring this up on this fine Easter day is that as i thought about it, i'm not sure i've ever really brought up the church in my blog. that's a shame, really.i love the church. so today, i just thought i'd share a few things.

for those who aren't members of the church, you should know that twice a year the lds church holds a conference. rather than a traditional sunday meeting during these instances, leaders of the church share messages from the church conference center in salt lake city, utah. members attend these meetings in the center, in meeting houses throughout the world where it is showed via satellite, and listen on the radio and television where it is available. it's quite enjoyable. we have the chance to hear the leaders of the church and feel the Spirit of God teach us and let us know what we're hearing is true. if you'd like to hear such, the broadcasts and individual talks are available here. take a peek. it's good stuff. altogether, there are four two-hour general sessions of conference each time. morning and afternoon on saturday and sunday. and if you're feeling particularly greedy, the archives of conference talks goes back a fair way, so you'll have plenty to enjoy.

anyway, conference this time around happened to fall on the same weekend as easter, i thought it was a good time to buck the precedent i've set in the past and simply have a religion based post.

i'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. i know that we've a Heavenly Father who is God. i know that the true church of God was restored through the prophet Joseph Smith, and is witnessed by the Bible, The Book of Mormon, and other scripture that has been given us. and i know that it's through Jesus Christ that we can find happiness here, happiness in the next life, and understanding of the plan that God has for each of us.

happy easter, everybody. i hope you all enjoy yourselves. if you've any questions about the lds church or anything else i've mentioned in this post, feel free to drop a line, and i'll do what i can to answer. and again, the church website is an excellent resource for questions you may have.

you'll probably see a bit more of this sort of thing in my blog in the future. probably not quite as deliberate, but probably a few things like the clip i'll be stapling to the bottom of the post. it's one of a series of clips the Church has produced over the last year or so, and features testimony of the Savior by leaders of his church on the world today. again, if you're feeling greedy, you can find more of them here.

until next time,
trace.

ending words with a zed.

2010-03-17T12:17:00.011-06:00

as of recent, i've found myself doing things that i'd be far too lazy to do before. or perhaps too terrified. it may be some new found inner working or perhaps just being around shanise or maybe something different altogether, but it certainly is something.

one of these examples is improvisational comedy. for those of you unaware, back in my high school days i had the chance to take part in an improv troop at my high school. twas a fun venture that was quite fun while it lasted. at least for me. maybe not for everyone else, but they can write their own blog entries...

so last weekend shanise and i went to a local improv show by comedy sportz. (note: sportz, not sports. thus making it funny, or unusual.) i always loved doing improv back in the day. maybe it's the fact that i became lazy or whatever else, or maybe a busier schedule, but when i came to college and didn't find a troupe to join readily available i just didn't bother with it anymore. and now, for whatever reason, it's been five years since i've done any improv (outside of a myster dinner i did last year). but watching this show somehow awakened my love for the stuff, and i'm now signed up for their workshops. on one hand, it'll be fun just because it's a place to just play around doing improv. more importantly, though, is that the way they do 'auditions' for the proper troupe is seeing how they like you during said workshops and then, if you make the cut, inviting you to keep going and so on.

so we'll see what happens. i'm going in with the intention to try to get in since otherwise it seems a little silly to just go to workshops, dig? but at the end of the day, whether or not i do get in it should be a good time. we'll see. we'll see...

quando quando quando.

2010-03-10T17:02:00.099-07:00

"do one thing everyday that scares you."
-eleanor roosevelt

in other words, you should be going out of your way to do frightening things everyday. i think eleanor was on to something. as of recent, i've been trying to implement this little gem. in lots of ways.

we'll assume that 'to scare' can be defined as instilling fear. the merriam-webster dictionary defines fear as "an unpleasant, often strong, emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger." danger is defined by the same source as "exposure or liability to injury, pain, harm, or loss." therefore, in order to fulfill this advice, i need to do something that the excites anticipation or awareness of potential injury, pain, harm, or loss. when i map it out like that, it's not so hard.

using the preceding as our jumping point, if i do one of the following things a day, then i'll be following eleanor's words of wisdom.

correcting people.
cooking something that i'm not experienced at cooking.
doing most anything in front of large crowds.
doing things i've claimed to be good at.
submitting applications.
participating in competitions.
dancing.
looking down from heights.
trying particularly foreign foods.
giving presentations.
showing people personal works (music, writing, etc).
going into particularly dark places.

now, of course there are many things on this list where saying they scare me is a bit of a stretch whereas others are a bit more unnerving. eating a somewhat frightening foreign food is nothing close to looking down from heights. and heights aren't near what other things may be. however, everything on that list at the very least make me uncomfortable. and at that, many of them are things are things i do pretty often, and even enjoy doing. again, foreign foods are always fun. they still can make me a bit uncomfortable. that's the whole point, though.

it is my belief that eleanor advised this because we're simply a big bunch of sissies in far too many ways. indeed, i am often nothing but a big sissy. and how does one cure one's self of sissiness? by making his or her sissy self face the music. eat a bug, sing to a crowd, and go cliff diving.

and so i shall. sooner or later.

dear blog.

2010-02-26T11:39:00.007-07:00

"it's a butterfly. or maybe a fella in glasses... hey everybody, hold on a second... i know, i know, it'll only take a second. come check this out. it's pretty cool."

dear blog.
how are you? hope things are going well.
it's interesting. sometimes i wonder who's reading you, and imagine people in far off lands wondering what an american psychology student does with his time. it's pretty exciting. maybe a bit frightening. maybe you've a reader who's a friendly herb doctor in the southwestern united states reading about my new album. perhaps another is a small pakistani boy from islamabad wondering about what i asked santa for christmas (and let the record show, you really did have a hit from islamabad reading your "dear santa" post). maybe a swedish hacker who's ip address is traced to singapore, but who is really in ireland. or perhaps another psychology student in russia, comparing his own blog to you and thinking his is much better. if he's right, i apologize.

at any rate, i'm glad we can see at least where in the world people are that are reading via the geo-traffic link on the right side of the screen, even if we can't see who it is. then again, if i knew who it was, it may weird me out... maybe that's for the best. either way, it's good fun.

well blog, need to finish a paper for psychology now. but i just wanted to write and say hi. hope all is well. i'll do what i can to get you some new readers, but i think we've already a few all stars in our fanbase. see you next later!

--the little lund that writes you.

freshman year.

2010-02-12T14:59:00.000-07:00

hey friends and others.
so, about four years ago now, i was a freshman in college living in helaman halls on byu campus and living the dream. part of said dream was to make beautiful music. what instead was realized was the creation of noise loosely described as music. that being said, over time it's been fun to share my wastes of time, and am finally putting forth the effort to do so. these tracks were done with the blessed hammerhead rhythm station and windows sound recorder along with film quotes as you'll hear. at any rate, it was a monster pain editing all of them, so it makes me all the more proud of them.

also worth noting before we get started are two things of practical application. one, i'm still unaware of a way to simply post these tracks as wav or mp3 files, so they're still being posted as movies(yes, the visuals are boring, but i can't be bothered to actually do anything visually for stuff i made four years ago). if you want to be able to download any of them, just get a hold of me or leave a comment and i'll just e-mail them to you. and second, while some i'm quite proud of, others were more me just playing around and trying to figure out how to work. for this reason, i'll only be posting the worthwhile ones, which are few, but there just the same.

so, here are the tracks, loosely in the order of which i favor them. i wrote these under the name "coat hat and cutlass" in case any of you burn these on mix cds and distribute them among friends. then when they ask who they're by, you can express that it's by coat hat and cutlass but they stopped putting out tracks a few years ago and sound very hip and knowledgeable.

as you mixed.
    

super micro fun.
    

frankly reanimixed.
   
your one unheard message.
   
  try to enjoy.

aldo.

2010-02-04T12:54:00.011-07:00

as you may be aware from interaction with me or from blog posts past, i have some fairly varied interests. one of them is sci fi, and more specific to this post, planet of the apes.

in the original series' fifth and final installment, battle for the planet of the apes, humanity and apes are living in a fairly tense balance. they live in villages with humans as second class citizens. ceasar, the chimp leader of the ape revolution and leader of the establishment, feels that mankind had their chance and chose to war with and kill one another as well as mistreat apes. therefore, it was the ape race's role to care for society and assist humanity in maintaining its existence, as they've proved to be somewhat inept at it. and in order to prove they're of sterner stuff, apes establish a code of laws, the hallmark being 'ape must never kill ape.'

well, while ceasar is a worthy chimp with worthy intentions, others are not. enter aldo, the leader of the gorillas, the warriors of ape civilization. he has a rather tenacious dislike of humans and is eagerly trying to find an excuse to do us all in. well, he plans out a clever little way to do so and assembles a meeting of the gorillas to discuss a way to get martial law in order and attack a nearby human establishment. well, by some chance ceasar's good son cornelius (who aldo also hates as he always bests him in ape school) happens upon this little war council and scurries off to inform his father and the community. but aldo thinks fasts and hacks down the branch on which cornelius is perched, dropping him from the treebranch to the sickbed. then, while ceasar is at cornelius' side, aldo takes order to his own hand, starts the attack on humans both in an out of the village. in turn, cornelius passes and ceasar leaves the small home to find what's gone on in his absence.

the battle begins and in a moment of rest, one citizen makes it known that indeed cornelius' branch didn't break, but was hacked away. aldo has broken the great law. the crowd, realizing the gravity of aldo's action, circle and begin slowly chanting the horrible truth.

ape has killed ape.

i guess why i bring this up is that it's all too often that we become what we've faulted someone else for. myself included, as i always am in these sort of soap box posts. but it's really true. the practice can be found in politics, social circles, fashion, pop culture, and any number of other things. we seek to replace the humans only to follow their faults.

just something to think about, and it's always fun for me to have a chance to talk planet of the apes. and as i rarely get to with people face to face, i'll do so with my blog.

the learning machine.

2010-01-30T15:48:00.014-07:00

as you may have read in last month's issue of alternative press, there have been rumors of me finally recording an album after years of playing shows to audiences of anywhere from one to six people. while some of you may have been spreading these rumors, and many more of you hoping they were true, up to this point they have indeed been nothing but rumors. with this in mind, i'm happy to announce that such is no longer that case, and in fact, you'll be able to have a copy of my debut 'the learning machine' for your household come this summer.

that being said, things are very much still in development. the eleven track album currently has seven songs guaranteed their respective slots and the remaining four slots have a few potential tracks to fill them. i won't bother telling you what's included as the song titles will unfamiliar to everyone, but eleven tracks it will have. also, though the seven certain ones are fully written, there has been no recording as of yet. that and then deciding what to do with the tracks once i have the album assembled. while i would love to actually have a proper album produced, i may just wind up burning my own and selling them for two dollars. that being said, if any of you have any insight on producing an indie album, do tell.

anyway, shortly put, look for 'the learning machine' in some format this summer, and you'll find it. i'll keep relevant updates coming on here. until next time,
trace.

little yellow demons.

2010-01-23T14:15:00.014-07:00

*disclaimer*
if you've children in the room who are already picky eaters, you may want to shoo them away. if they are adversely affected by the opinions held in this post, the writer hereby dismisses all responsibility.

i hate corn. i hate the smell, the taste, and the texture of corn.

that's basically the summation of this whole post. now, of course, the rest of the post is explaining what that means.

now, i want to be clear. when i say "i hate corn," i'm using a very general term ("corn"), to describe a very specific food (plain corn). i explain this because i don't want people who have been kind enough to feed me before (particularly my mother and people from my mission) thinking that they gave me meals i had to gag down. in complete honesty, i can remember very few meals past the age of thirteen that i had a sincere dislike for. why is this? because if corn is in it's proper place, it's really not all bad. let's take a look at corn's pleasant side, shall we?

good corn.

corn is basically good when it's not left to its own to taste like corn. corn in a casserole? delightful. corn on the cob? what a treat. popcorn? no one could question it's appeal. however, you'll note that in each of these, corn is one of two things. a) fresh, or b) part of a greater whole. one of these two elements must be present. much like myself. if i'm not a) fresh (as in, "funky fresh," not as in sexual harrassment "fresh"), or b) part of a greater whole (with other people), i can become very unpleasant to be around. possibly because of my smell. that could also be the same as corn. however, i guess corn's smell dissipates when with other things. i'm not sure mine does... but i digress.

see? i can enjoy corn in a sense. if it's not overpowering, it's fine.

but all too often, i get a glimpse of corn's darker side...

bad corn

i wonder if corn just needs a chaperon, because it isn't bad when it's supervised. it's only when we leave corn to it's own design things get bad. really, this is only canned, creamed, or frozen corn served as a stand alone. a side. something to be eaten kernel by kernel. yes, rest assured, it is that bad. to me, anyway. i'd like to say that's not the same as me like we compared earlier, but i'll let you all decide for yourselves.

the smell, the taste, the texture. i cannot bring myself to enjoy corn in this capacity. i'm sorry, and i'm sure that most of you disagree with my frightening caricature of the corn kernel. however, i stand by my position. sorry corn, you're like the friend i only want to see if you're with other people i want to see more. or like me, as i generally am the friend people only want to see if with other people they want to see more. dig?

well corn, have a good day. i'm sure there are still plenty of people in the world that are still happy to devour your wicked little self. now if you don't mind, i'm going to hang out with my friends, the peas.

rockin' in the treetops.

2010-01-18T22:39:00.022-07:00

for those of you who don't know me as well, you may or may not be aware of the fact that i enjoy making up stupid little songs typically narrative or first person in nature. and good news to fans of stupid little songs typically narrative or first person in nature, it would seem the typically narrative or first person in nature spark is back. whether this "good news" is actually good is of course debatable. however, it is nice for me.

when i first started playing music (on a conventional instrument) i was taking piano lessons in elementary school. i was going to play the trumpet in school band, but thankfully my mother offered the piano lessons as another option, and with liberace dreams in tow, i accepted them. now, i only kept these lessons up for so long, and today, i am admittedly no expert on the piano now, but two very valuable things came as a result. one. i can still remember several songs i learned to play including "money can't buy everything," "magic man," "money can't buy everything," and one i'm particularly fond of, "oom-pa-pa." two. to this day, most of my understanding of music today remains based in what i learned during this time. after said lessons, i tinkered around with the piano off and on, never really taking it too seriously, and talking about how much i'd love to play the drums.

key in a few years listening to weird al and whatever my brother listened to. mainly fat wreck chords and moon ska. thanks, sky. twas a good time.

then onto my high school years. desperately trying to fit in as a punker with my bleached, twisted-spike hair and cut off cargo paints my parents were kind enough to simultaneously give themselves perpetual headaches and me great happiness when they purchase me a drumset for a birthday. with saturday morning lessons, and constant noise in the house, i can honestly say that i learned to love creating music ("music" being used liberally here) and my piano lessons started showing how helpful they really were as i got more curious about other instruments as i began to actually gain some ability with a drumset. it was a long process going from trying to play the tune of the a-team theme song to actually playing drum like i was "supposed to," but it was a lot of fun. also fun was having a bassist and a guitarist ask me to be a drummer. before you ask, no. we never did anything but school talent shows. but i'm fine with that. it was a delight, even if it wasn't for the audience.

also, my later years of high school offered me the opportunity to try my throat at singing. it was... entertaining, if not a bit painful for everyone else. still, between the kindness of a good drama teacher and a remarkably patient choir director, i was able to survive and enjoy performing in musical theater, the audience was able to survive my performance, and anyone in my car was able to survive the ride home in my jeep. and by "survive the ride home in my jeep," i mean listen to me singing west side story all the way home. passengers were allowed--nay, expected--to join. it was wonderful and i to this day have a soft spot for show tunes because of these experiences and my theater friends. and i'd imagine you can sometimes hear some broadway influence in what i sing now.

as high school went on, my parents were again kind enough to humor my musical annoyances and i was able to try my hands at both guitar and bass guitar. between lessons for both from various sources and my brother's humoring me, i really grew to enjoy them. there are still a few very basic melodies i wrote on both instruments that i'll still play when i pick one of them up. it's usually a little embarrassing, but very nostalgic, so i still do it. same with a few i made up on the piano, including the sea-sick saloon number that my mother still may have nightmares about. you probably would too with the number of times i played it on the house piano.

cut to high school graduation. upon ending high school, i leave my home, guitar and drumset to go to my freshman year at byu. i buy a djembe hand drum and exist for a while doing nothing musically other than "bang on my drum all day." well, that and making amateur tracks with hammerhead rhythm station and windows sound recorder. they were good days... i really should post some of them. they're very much amateur, but entertaining just the same. and i can say that because i'm at least somewhat subjective now thanks to the fact that i put them together about six years ago.

cut from college to the mission ("the mission" being a two-year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). lots of work and not a lot of anything else for some reason spark a lot of ideas and many lyrics were written in a two-pound tesco notebook at night when we had half an hour of free time.

then back home. for the first few months back i had the opportunity of finally finishing/polishing the songs i had started on the mish and was able to put the words to some acoustic guitar and was able to reacquaint myself with my drum set which was delightful. after that, i returned to byu, school started again, and i essentially have spent the time since then playing the same four songs over and over and over again... and wishing i had something more interesting to play.

last year for a few months i was able to play with some computer software and write some digital music which was great, but the analog half of my musical self was still unexercised and flabby with neglect.

but finally, it feels like i've the drive to actually have something more interesting to play. two big reasons i think. first, it's just been so long since i've done much of anything creative that hasn't involved a computer that my desire to finally peaked high enough and it's gotten me out of my creation slump. second, for the first time in ages i've found people to play with, which is a huge boost. this vague shape of a band is a wonderful excuse to start creating again. and funny enough, i find myself being willing to sing in the thing.

that's really what the whole post comes to. i don't consider myself a singer. to be honest, i don't really consider myself a musician. save the drums, my competence on any of the instruments i profess to play is really quite sub-par. i hesitate to consider myself any sort of artist, but if put to the rack over it, i'd consider myself a writer. if you were to take the time (as i admittedly have, and you'd rather not) to look trough my old class notebooks from high school through college you'll see notes sided by countless poems i'd written about anything from my loathing of math to royalty lamenting the need to marry outside of the family. if you look at other sources you can find pieces for the stage including monologues about self confidence and witch burning, and a one-act about story-telling elevator boys. look at even more obscure word files and you can find dozens of unfinished short stories and who knows what that i started and abandoned for whatever reason. after all of my experiences, i still find myself most comfortable with a pen and paper in a desk or performing something that was written there. or eating a grilled cheese. that's also very comfortable. anyway, i guess after ten years of pretending to be an artist, i'm ready to forget the fact that i'm not a singer and sing anyway.

and so faithful reader, you just read twelve paragraphs of lund history so you could read the that last sentence and finally realize what this post is even about. and really, that's the entire post. i think i'll put that line at the bottom in fancy text to make up for making you read all of this for one line... i'm now writing stuff and putting it to use. as in, acting like they're viable works and having people play along with me. should be fun.

goodbye. sorry for being so long-winded and unentertaining. and much thanks to my parents for being supportive in my many worthless and musical pursuits, especially when they were the same ones. goodnight all!

rorschach bell.

2010-01-15T13:34:00.013-07:00

greetings.
we're going to try a little something with this post. i'm quite curious to see how it turns out. a little background first.

no doubt many of you have seen or heard of inkblot tests, more formally titled rorschach tests after their creator. the idea behind the test is that a participant is shown an ambiguous shape and the participant projects meaning onto it and says what the object "is." of course it's not really the shape of anything. it's completely random. the meaning it has to the viewer is only that which the viewer projects onto it. dig?

so i was eating taco bell today, as i often do, and on my way to my seat grabbed some extra hot sauce and napkins for today's post. here are the rules. as you scroll down the page, you'll be shown six sauceblots. your job is to decide what you think each is, and write it down. the blots will be numbered, so when you're done, post your numbered answers as a comment if you could be so kind. the only rules are that you only look at one sauceblot at a time and that you don't look at anyone else's answers before you have your own. we don't want their answers influencing yours.

and yes, they may not be exactly symmetrical. in an ideal world they would be, but with the resources as hand, we'll make do.

so... go ahead. start projecting meaning.

scroll down.

sauceblot one.

stop.

scroll down.

sauceblot two.

stop.

scroll down.

sauceblot three.

stop.

scroll down.

sauceblot four.

stop.

scroll down.

sauceblot five.

stop.

scroll down.

sauceblot six.

you're done! now remember, make sure you've recorded your answers before you go any further so that you don't see the answers that other people have placed before you put your own down. thanks! i look forward to seeing what everybody says. i'll post my answers as soon as i finish posting this whole thing.

thanks all, see you next time.

pizza.

2010-01-11T23:45:00.001-07:00

i plan on eating more pizza in the next little while.

owain phyfe.

2010-01-08T12:15:00.005-07:00

hey friends. it's been a while.

this is a quick post to share a bit of writing I did in one of my psychology classes. we were asked to write a quick paragraph or two about ourselves to help other people remember us. did i get a bit carried away? perhaps. on the other hand, they'll probably remember better for it. and as many of you may not really know me very well, i thought i'd post it to help introduce myself.

About... me.

The name is Trace Lund. Trace as in a synonym for residue; Lund as in the Swedish university. I’m a junior or senior depending on how you view my credits, as many psych majors are. My main interests in psychology are abnormal and developmental psych. Hopefully by the end of my academic journey I’ll be able to obtain a doctorate. But how knows? Maybe I’ll wind up being a traveling minstrel instead. Ideally, I’d be able to do both. I play a few stringed instruments, as well as general percussion, so it’s a fair possibility, really. I could travel the nation—nay, the world—spreading delightful music and programs designed to help all those willing to hear my words on psychology.

So. Hopefully you weren’t looking for anything to profound. I think the mental image of a mandolin-playing psychologist with a monocle (and possibly a traditional Victorian garb) may prove to be more helpful in remembering this than my age or town of origin.

i'm sure they'll all want to be in my group now. and no doubt this was very insightful for you. hopefully your new year is going well. maybe i'll post something worthwhile in the near future. maybe.

and here's the link to explain the title.

dear santa.

2009-12-24T19:08:00.008-07:00

dear santa--

please forgive my writing this so late in the game and for writing it as a blog post. short notice and unconventional format may, i know, work against me. however, the way i see it, you know if i've been (or may yet be in these final hours of christmas eve) naughty or nice, you should be aware of this post. besides, i think mrs. claus is a follower of the blog, so i'm sure she can pass this along. and as far as having what i'm asking for in stock, i feel they are all either run of the mill enough that you have plenty, or they've been unpopular for long enough that you'll be eager to get rid of your surplus from years past. i may even get to of the out of season items. and some of them are more to do with changing some aspect of my life rather than giving me something. those i'm sure will be more long term anyway, so you can take care of those after a bit of r&r following your christmas run. but i digress...

earlier this month i realized i'd yet to write you this year, but with scheduling what it was, the better part of december somehow passed me by and i find myself with you having minimal input on my christmas gifts this year and no thanks for your no doubt generous stop at my house. so. thank you very much for your generosity. and here's my christmas list.

1. a straight razor and all the accompanying components that are needed to use it effectively. for a while now, i've been looking to purchase one. shave ready, if you don't mind. i know you're probably wondering why. here's the thing, i hate shaving. the only fun shaving can be is when i forget to (or let out the rebel inside and choose not to... i know, that's naughty. i usually don't.) and decide to give myself chops. you probably read my post about that a while ago. anyway, since i have to shave either way, i've decided to embrace it and shave like a man. a man from the early nineteen hundreds. or a man who lives in the outdoors for a living. check this clip out and tell me you don't feel the same way. though i can understand that you won't feel quite the same as you've that delightful beard of yours. but just picture yourself in my shoes.

i'll be needing the razor, the water stone, and the strop. i can take care of the brush and soap, though.

2. more facial hair to make shaving it off more satisfying. i have enough to keep it worthwhile, but more would be nice. it's like scraping a car. if there's lot of snow and ice, it's very satisfying. if there's only frost, it's just annoying.

3. a furby. i don't mean to be a pest santa, but it's been a good solid ten years i've been asking, and it's been a good solid ten years i've had a disappointing christmas morning. don't get me wrong, i've loved every christmas, but the furby shaped hole in my heart has yet to be filled. i'm losing hope for it these days, but i couldn't bear the idea of not asking.

4. a mandolin. to be honest santa, this is sort of a loaded question. i've been borrowing a mandolin from my friend jordan for a bit now, and though any mandolin would do, i've grown attached to this one... and i named her mandy. so for christmas santa, i'd like mandy. i'm happy to pay for her, just make it possible that i can pay for her. as a side note, some actual talent as pertaining to the mandolin would also be much appreciated.

5. assistance through next semester. so, i really could have used your help this last semester, santa. things didn't go so well between me getting sick four times and hating half of my classwork. and not like "i don't want to study" hate, i mean like "i hated the subject matter like you couldn't believe" hate.

6. a successful launch of tng. santa, i'm sure you're aware of this as you'll be seeing plenty of children with a copy of trace's nerdy game on their wish list next christmas. it's a working title, so watch for the title change, but i'm sure you keep up pretty well with these sort of things. anyway, me and a few friends are working on it and trying to get the rules and so on established so we can actually play a game of it. with that being said, i'm more worried about putting it out there than i am developing it. so please be a friend and slip a note to watch for it this year in any nerdy games you give out tonight. by the way, if you're wondering how to play, we've some videos that should help you here.

7. the willpower to exercise and become more manly. santa, we both know i've the personality of an alpha male, now i just need the physique to match. i've been running a bit for a little while, and this summer i "pumped iron" which was satisfying. with school, though, running is trickier and the said iron has not been as easy to pump. so. santa. man to man, be a friend and a)up my willpower so that i have the drive to work out, b)add an extra hour to my day, and then somehow make sure i don't spend my twenty-fifth hour playing peggle, or c)send me a workout routine to follow that includes cadbury advent calendars to give me an incentive to keep it up. also, if you could send me a couple of wife beaters for me to work out in and some cool tribal-design temporary tattoos, that would be nice.

8. another year free of major illness. so, i know i may have made a bit of a fuss over having/not having swine flu and being sick several more times after that this semester, but i don't have anything life threatening or chronic so far, and i appreciate that. another year of that would be delightful.

9. a record deal. so this one really means "please let me play at an open mic night" but i thought i'd be ambitious and just ask for something pie in the sky, dig? thanks. with the production you crank out yearly i don't think it would be hard for you to pull a few strings, my jolly old friend.

10. a new pair of pants. a pair that will make me look really attractive, but not skinny jeans. anything but skinny jeans. maybe the ones with the flares at the bottom. and i'd like if they were just a little snug. i'm sure you understand. life's just not complete without a snug pair of handsome denims.

11. a random three dollar purchase function from ebay. it's fun to order things from ebay for three dollars or less. it would be even more fun to do this occasionally without even knowing what i purchased. that way when i get a package in the mail, the shock of receiving a ________ will be twofold. one, at the object itself, and two that i got it for only three dollars. and since it's not a one time thing, it's the gift that keeps on giving.

12. a signed copy of bonnie tyler's "faster than the speed of night." this is something you ask for because you know you'll never buy it for yourself. you've got the connections, santa. be a pal.

13. a bigger heart. that way, next year i'll ask for things that have less to do with my "gimmeitus" and more to do with helping other people... next year.

thanks santa. i look forward to seeing all of this either under my tree in a few hours or come to be realized in the next year. drop me a line if you're ever in provo during the offseason. we'll do lunch.

your number one fan and selfish little brat,

trace.

the scientific method.

2009-12-15T10:26:00.008-07:00

so. as many of you know, i was hoping to go to med school. and to be fair, i'm not completely dismissing the idea. however, this last semester has taught me something invaluable--i hate the "hard" sciences. just to clarify, that doesn't mean the challenging sciences, that means things that don't involve people, essentially. psychology, for instance, is often considered a "soft" science. well soften me up, folks, for if soft be psychologists, soft i hope to be. and while the idea of being a medical doctor does still has it's appeal... well, read on.

here's the thing. this semester was an experiment of sorts. the scientific method basically states that to test something, you should make a hypothesis and run the test to see how it goes. simple enough. this semester, i hypothesized that i'd be able to not only learn to beat my science courses, but that i'd learn to enjoy them. my hypothesis was based in my success, my results are based in defeat.

now, another important part of interpreting results that most people (including myself) don't learn until a bit after elementary school science is the idea of the null hypothesis. here's the example, compliments of nassim nicholas taleb. if you do a study to prove there are only white swans in the world, you can never be sure, really. the reason is there may always be a little black swan hidden away in an old man's basement somewhere, completely defying your theory (side note, there are black swans). therefore, certain phraseology is used to ensure that honesty and operational definitions are present. to assume there is no difference or your variable of choice is present(ie, there is no black swan, i don't want to be a doctor) is called 'the null hypothesis.' therefore, if we find a black swan (or find that through my classes i want to be a doctor), we would reject the null hypothesis, as it is not the case (in cases with numbers, this is done statistically, of course). however, if we do not find this to be the case, we cannot simply accept the null. you'll remember the old man with the black swan. you never really know. so instead of saying, "yes, we embrace the null. it's true." we fail to reject the null hypothesis. thus saying that as far as we can tell, the null holds true.

this semester, as pertaining to my wanting to go to med school, i found no black swans. i failed to reject the null. that means that as far as the time being is concerned, i don't especially want to be a doctor. that being said, there are errors that can play into things, of course. but i can honestly say that after this semester of dealing with chemistry again, hating biology, and finding the only bright spot in my week being my psychological testing class, that the null was pretty heavily enforced.

so next semester i'll be taking a sabbatical from all classes outside of psychology, and i'm quite excited. i'll be doing nothing but psych all day as far as academics is concerned, and i'm thrilled about it. the way i see it, next semester's null will be that i don't want to go into psychology as a professional field. i'm sincerely hoping to find a black swan.

and on a sidenote, over thanksgiving break i got to paint my nephews' and one of my niece's faces in the likeness of kiss. it's not really associated at all with the rest of my post, but still cool enough that i'm sharing it.

boom.

irish washerwoman.

2009-11-28T09:59:00.004-07:00

so, it's been over a month since the last post. you know what that means, if you're a regular here. time for me to give a brief recap of anything interesting that's happened over the last little while. a bit of content and not a lot of depth. i'm sure you don't mind.

first of all, i've started learning the mandolin. i came into contact with it jamming with my pal jordan who had a mandolin by way of one friend winning it in a raffle, trading it with another friend for credit toward a bass guitar, and that friend giving it to jordan. and for now, jordan is borrowing my acoustic guitar and i'm borrowing his mandy. good stuff. i'm really enjoying how much character the thing has. jigs were never such fun to play.

the next big time investment has been trace's nerdy game. basically a card game designed for a player to be able to play and customize in infinite directions. i'd bother trying to explain it, but really i should be writing the rules if i'm doing anything with it since i think i still have people waiting for me to get some on paper. so there. if you'd like to see some of the card designs that i've done, here you go. i'll probably do a proper post about that sometime soon. i'm sure you don't mind not seeing it now.

other than that, work and school, work and school. always a good time. besides the fact that i hate calculus and it hates me. i'm quite looking forward to winter semester. i'm taking a sabbatical from science courses and taking strictly psychology to see how i feel about the med school track. my biggest concern is the fact that i was taking biology earlier this semester, but i dropped it because it worked like a four credit hour class when it was only two hours. but on top of that, i just did not at all enjoy the material. and i'm thinking to myself, "man, this phage and cellular respiration garbage isn't very cool. and... this is a big part of medicine. interesting..." so we'll see. i've definitely made no solid plans, but i may be running back to psychology as a career path and opting for graduate school over med school. we'll see. you know i'll be posting on that later anyway.

and i'm sure your curious why there are no pictures in this post.

simply put, my parents bought a mac recently, and macs and i don't get along so well, and i can't be bothered. i'd rather just deal with no pictures in this one. and if scott happens to read this, no. i'm still not swayed. if anything, my time with my parent's mac makes me love windows even more. so there.

see you later with a post that probably won't come for another little while. 'til then, enjoy the season. i'm off to sword fight with jimmy.

lance bass.

2009-10-26T09:57:00.010-06:00

hello world. they say you should leave the best for last. this being the last of the series of nsync posts, i think we all knew which member would be last.

"shoot for the moon. even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."
brian littrell
(about lance bass)

by way of friendly update, we're no closer to posting a link for the notebooks blog as i've still not received any submissions. so if you're really dieing to see it up and running, spread the good word.

anyway, this is one of those posts where i just get a chance to share things with everyone that i think are worth sharing. that's another reason i chose lance bass for this one. he's fantastic!

*disclamer*
blogger and/or youtube is being a punk and the video linking is being shotty. for now, please just accept my apologies, be old fashioned, and click the link.

first of all, a string of recent musical discoveries i've enjoyed. feel free to watch at your leisure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q46qCgBDdKM
haley bonar
this is a good little number of her's, but she's got more. just look around on youtube and they're pretty available.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_8p3fjt4Do
peter and the wolf
i quite enjoy this song. i was quite quick to begin recommending this crew to friends, and then started listening to their other stuff, and it wasn't quite as awesome... but anyway, it's worth checking out this song at least. also, live, they aren't exactly stellar. not to make a jab, or anything, but after watching that link, try this one. same song. live. i was a little dissapointed, though i get the impression they may have been drinking prior to this performance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVYcfOEPmLk&feature=related

anyway, i enjoyed it.

the next is a bit of spam mail i received over the weekend. i usually don't bother cleaning out my spam folder. but when i do, i enjoy seeing if there's anything humerous to be found. for whatever reason, i found this one quite funny, and share it now.
i couldn't tell you why, but i found it hilarious. maybe i'm just imagining this scene play out.

(Lights up on a small apartment living room. The table is set for a romantic evening. Tom is seen opening a bottle of wine, the finishing touch in his preparations. The door opens. Enter Kathy.)
Kathy: Oh! What's this?
Tom: Oh, aren't you a few minutes early?
Kathy: Yeah, business got slow towards the end of the shift and Jeff let me off early. What's all this about?
Tom: Happy anniversary. (He pours a glass of wine and hands it to Kathy, then doing the same for himself. He raises his glass.) To us. (Kathy gets visibly uncomfortable. Setting down the glass, she heads for the door. He pursues her.) Kathy! What's the matter? Did I do something wrong? I didn't mean to put any pressure on you, just wanted to celebrate a little. It seems like we've been so stressed lately. I thought it was a good excuse for a little relaxing...
Kathy: (Turning around, trying to hide how upset she is.) I know, I know... It's just hard to look at you... right now... just sometimes...
Tom: Kathy? What are you saying?
Kathy: I... I... it's just... (Beat.) I do not care for your clothes. (At this she begins to cry.)
Tom: Kathy... I'm so sorry... (They embrace.) I'll change... Give me a second. I'll be right back.
(Lights begin to fade as Tom exits to a door stage right, undoing his tie. Kathy sits, sips at her wine.)
Kathy:I do love him...
(To black. Fin.)

touching, isn't it? i think i may need to pursue that script...

and lastly, the random article function on wikipedia. give it a spin. it's good fun.

and that concludes this post, and the nsync post series. thank you justin, joey, j.c., chris and lance. you truly do make the world a brighter, since you are all such bright stars.

best wishes,
trace.

chris kirkpatrick.

2009-10-22T13:35:00.007-06:00

this is going to be a short post. and as such, i thought i'd name it after the shortest member of nsync, chris kirkpatrick.

yes, i know the photo isn't really all that fair, but he really is the shortest. ask any real fan and they'll tell you the same.

anyway, short post. i'm attempting to start up a new blog. it's basically themed around notebook art, as in the kind you draw during class, on the phone, at work, or anywhere else where you're really not supposed to be. this is just sort of an invitation to submit some if you wouldn't mind sharing it. you can submit your work or questions to therealreasonfornotebooks@gmail.com. when i get the blog up and running (which is contingent on how much i recieve, if any) i'll post a link to it, of course.

so please do submit. we'll see if this can get anywhere. and we're not picky. if you drew a flaming scorpion in microsoft paint when you should have been studying, submit it.

thanks. i hope to recieve some from the lot of you.

j.c. chasez.

2009-10-15T19:24:00.010-06:00

this post is a sad one. and as no member of nsync is stereotypically sad, i simply bing searched "sad nsync" and chose the first member i saw looking sad. even with such a primitive approach, it took quite a while to find one. but in the end, i did.

you've got that right, joshua. it is a time for sadness.

this week, my dear friend and pet, zatch, the blue beta, died in his fishbowl. he was a good little fish. he spent most of his days (after coming home with me) in a fishbowl with yellow and pink dancehall bottom with his good friend skeletor and some floating pods that were supposed to be plants, but instead wound up floating on the top of the water as a sort of misshapen brown beach balls. he enjoyed freeze dried blood shrimp and having his bowl cleaned as needed.

this experience reminds me greatly of when my dog, sadie, died. the situations are very different, of course. but just the same, very similar. it's not quite as emotionally draining for a twenty-two year old to lose a beta fish as it is for a twelve year old to have his dog put down, but the feeling is the same in principle. the level of emotions just aren't nearly as high.

anyway, i'll miss the little fella. he was a worthy member of the apartment and represented his namesake well. i still can't decide why i got all that attached to my late, aquatic friend. he swam around, i fed him and cleaned his tank. somehow in these seemingly impersonal interactions, though, it seems i did. this makes me wonder how i'd take it if i had a plant that died. i can't imagine it would be the same--i'm guessing because plants don't eat. but if i had a venus flytrap, i guess i might.

so, this morning, after cleaning the kitchen and finding a tang lid that i could use to transport him, i took him outside and buried him in the garden in front of my apartment. complete with tombstone to boot. (note: 'stone' was actually a sort of luggage tag)

and so, rest in peace, zatch. you were a good little friend. hopefully your grave will remain at peace at least for a little while. i can't imagine too many people go rummaging through the woodchips in front of my apartment, so it should be safe for now.

fin.

joey fatone.

2009-10-05T19:13:00.008-06:00

well, as many of you may be aware from my last post and facebook photo album, this last weekend i was able to spend the weekend in san diego. twas a wonderful time. and i spent much of it thinking about how i could possibly work

into the post. mission accomplished.

and onto the recap.

rather than bother to post all of the photos on my blog, you can find the facebook album here. only a few select highlights will make it on the post in the interest of time.

to introduce, i'll give you a short timeline.

*4:30 (mountain west). thursday, october 1.
picked up by parents, niece, and three nephews in provo. we begin the drive.

(travel through utah, arizona, nevada, and california enjoying the view. most of the time)

*18:30 (pacific)
arrive at coronado island. waste time on the beach. enjoy life.

*10:00 (p) friday, october 2.
go to sea world. enjoy it very much as i have when i've attended it in the past.

*15:00 (p)
play the idea of being a marine biologist and dying my hair red so i can grow a moustache and be just like the guy who hosted the preshow for shamu. also sit front row for the show. very neat.

*18:00
come back to hotel and enjoy more beach tomfoolery.

*9:00 (p) saturday, october 3.
the day devoted to the beach. gave my best effort in getting a huge sunburn on my back and had moderate success. enjoyed drinking seawater and playing in the waves as i always do.

*12:00 (p)
ate at anthony's which was simply delightful. very much enjoyed it. best fish i've had since england.

*13:30 (p)
purchased a pair of vans half-cabs with a member of kiss on the sides of each shoe. ten dollars new at a tent sale on base. thanked my lucky stars.

*15:00 (p)
more fun on the beach.

*10:00 (p) sunday, october 4.
more beach time, but less "action" and more "loitering" type activities. scavenged for shells and made a good haul. also sat around in the sand acting like i was about to get up. enjoyed most of the day doing such. a delightful final day.

*4:00 (p) monday, october 5.
leave the hotel and order hash browns from mcdonalds. we're on the way home.

*6:00 (mw)
stop at burger kind for breakfast, but it's closed until seven. the time zones have changed and what was 6:55 a few minutes prior became 6:15 across the state line.

(read, make bracelets, watch dvds with kids)

*18:00 (mw)
return to provo. get dropped off by parents, niece, and three nephews. grab my junk, throw it in apartment, and go to the apartment complex office to sort out rent.

*19:10 (mw)
go on campus and update facebook and write this post.

boom.

twas a wonderful time. i enjoyed it very much and thank my parents for letting me tag along. and if you missed it the first time, and really wanted wanted to see the photos i was too lazy to post here, here's the link. and yes, i know i said i'd post a few particular ones here and didn't. i'm sorry, i really need to get going.

justin timberlake.

2009-09-30T10:09:00.012-06:00

i couldn't tell you why, but i really wanted to title this post "justin timberlake." probably for no real reason other than the novelty of naming a blog post after a member of n*sync. but hopefully by explaining myself, i'm...

...justified.

with the explanation out of the way, the rest of this waste of time can continue.
for the unaware, last weekend--wait, two weekends ago--i fell ill. i had the pleasure of going to the health center, wearing a biohazard mask, and having a six inch q-tip shoved far enough up my nose that my brain started pushing back. just before the doctor put the thing in, she handed me a tissue and said, "when i do this, your eyes are going to run like crazy and your nose will probably do the same." and indeed it did. as soon as it entered my right nostril my left retaliated, and yes, the tissue was very much appreciated.

following the interrogation, i got to take the swab to the lab, wait for results, and then be told they weren't really sure what i had. but don't worry, they were still confident enough in my illness that they banned me from campus for the next four days. those four days were thursday, friday, and the weekend. so two days of no classes and then no church. made for an interesting weekend.

when i'd reccuperated, i returned to find my midterms happily waiting for me; staring into my eyes with they're own and grinning sadistically. all things considered, they went alright. because i was having to play catch up and study for all of them at the same time i didn't exactly ace them, but as i knew that was coming, i planned ahead and things should still be able to work out fine in the long run.

this weekend, though, i'm missing class for a weekend by the sea rather than a weekend with the chills playing my roommate's wii. that's a welcome difference. also, the drive to san diego should supply plenty of time to read text books and sleep, both of which i always insist i'll do when i'm sick. then i get sick, remember how apathetic i become towards everything, and wind up beating guitar hero.

so yeah, should be a good time. a pleasant break from things for a few days--at least in presence. if anybody would like me to bring you back some sand, just let me know. i'd be happy to. just get me a vial.

watch for my next post, "joey fatone." as i've named one post after a member of n*sync already, i think in naming the next likewise, i'd be...

justified.

dishonest clicking.

2009-09-23T10:15:00.011-06:00

I have been asked what I mean by my word of honor. I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls-- ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground - there is a possibility that in some way or another I will escape; but stand me on a floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the Circle? No. Never! I would die first.
-Karl G. Maeser

for those reading that are unfamiliar with byu's ways and practices, this story will take a little bit of explanation. basically, when you sign apply to byu, and each year you continue, you agree to the byu honor code. it consists of a few basic groups of rules and standards you agree to uphold during your attendance at byu. some included are following church standards of dress and grooming, the word of wisdom (see link for explanation), and of course, academic honesty. it's nice because although i'd imagine you agree to something similar in regard to academic honesty no matter where you attend, at byu so much emphasis is placed on the students having agreed to follow the honor code that the professors are willing to trust the students with a lot more. and to be fair, i've rarely seen students abuse that trust.

on that note, i've a story to relate. if ever i have been tempted to cheat here at byu, i am no longer after this experience. in my biology class, we use iclickers throughout the lesson. they're basically little remotes that every student brings to class in order to answer multiple choice questions posed by the professor. each has an indavidual frequency making it possible for students to recieve credit for answering the question correctly, or answering at all. in this class, something like one point is given for a correct response and two points is given for just showing up to lecture and even being able to answer. well, twas a sad day for karl to look down upon, and a remarkably uncomfortable one for everyone else present. after one such question was posed by the professor, he asked for someone to explain his or her chosen answer. one eager student a few rows ahead of me raised his hand, and the professor called on him as he walked up the isle toward the student. the conversation between the teacher and student proceeded as follows, the professor speaking first.

"alright, go ahead and tell us why you chose c."
"well, i just saw..."
"wait. why do you have three iclickers sitting on your desk?"
"..."
"are you clicking in for students who aren't here?"
(mumbling) "um... no, i..."
"i think you are. that's academic dishonesty."

(a few second pause)

"well, i, i mean..."
"no, it is. you and i both know it."

(ten second pause. the entire class of around 150 students is dead quiet.)

"um... well... i..."
"alright. fine. well then. what was your answer?"
"um... it was... uh... i think..."
"fine. somebody else."

at this point, the entire class is so uncomfortable that we're all just scrambling to move on. thankfully some kid blurted out an answer vaguely connected to the given question and completely incorrect. everone was grateful for it as it made the professor correct him and move on. the kid, though, was able to have his crew of friends surrounding him pat him on the back and whisper (i'm assuming) assurances to him that the teacher was an idiot anyway.

yes, this was probably the most uncomfortable i've ever been in an academic situation. i felt bad for the kid, but at the end of the day, what was he thinking? honestly. you want to cheat, that's you're own choice. but to then be drawing attention to yourself, and then to be showing off the tools of your mischief, seriously. have a little tact.

as a follow up, after class the professor came up to the student and said, "i have the right to flunk you right now, take those i clickers and find their owners and flunk them all as well unless you did it without their permission." at this point i was too uncomfortable to stay and left before i found out if it was just a threat or something more. either way, that really must have ruined that kid's day.

so anyway, for as uncomfortable as i was simply being in the presence of this taking place, i can only imagine how i would feel being responsible. not like cheating was a huge temptation before, but it certainly isn't now. maybe professors should stage something like that at the beginning of each semester... use it as a learning tool.

anyway, there's the story. outside of this delightful experience, things are going well. nothing too exciting to report on, really, but things are going well. hope the same for all of you. so long.

grilled cheese and get up kids.

2009-09-15T12:52:00.005-06:00

to the both of you--
i just wanted to write and say that you two are the best, and i still enjoy your company. you may have been worried for a bit since we weren't hanging out as often. and outside of the usual "i don't have any bread" or "i forgot my headphones" excuses, yes, i wasn't seeing you as much.

grilled cheese, i've seen you nearly every day for the last week and a half, so you know that we're on good terms. it's refreshing to be able to see you again as often as i once did, though i know my double chin is probably even more excited to make a victorious return. because of that, we may have to limit our correspondence to tuesdays, thursdays, and special occasions. but still, you know i love you, right?

get up kids, you're probably a bit more upset with me. yes, i know that i swore i'd see your show tonight in salt lake no matter what, and now i'll most likely be cleaning toilets and listening to cds from eighth grade while you're performing. but i'll make good use of the chance to explain it to you when i find my live at granada cd. until then, just know that i have my reasons. some more practical and some more relate-able to your lyrics, but all ones justifying my absence as i'm sure you would agree. i'll buy you sodas next time you're in town.
promise.

but really, my two dear friends, i'm just happy to be friends again. you are wonderful and i do enjoy you ever so much. i apologize for neglecting our friendship for the past little while, but rest assured, such times are past. i'm glad i can finally see you clearly again without having anything taint the image. you and some more of my good friends were hard to be around for a bit, but all is well, all is well. i'm glad i can once again enjoy melodramatic lyrics and the taste of a bowling alley without reserve and be happy. forgive me.

best wishes, friends. i'll see you soon.
--trace

when the bee stings.

2009-08-29T21:29:00.028-06:00

sometimes we all just need a good pick me up. .we need something that will make us feel better. sometimes we need a few of our favorite things. like raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, and julie andrews.

forgive the youtube slide show format, but it's the best i could do. take a listen. you'll feel better even if you already feel great.

and for you more ambitious types--no need to be satisfied with watching.

and taking a lead from julie, i'll now be listing some of my favorite things. and remember, these are a few of my favorite things, not all of them. in no particular order:

*jonathan coulton*
a wonderfully lighthearted musician i recently discovered and have been enjoying ever since. this link will give you a good list of his stuff on youtube. give it a listen.

*grilled cheese*
need i say more? i think not. it's the best of a bowling alley and a sandwich thrown in the frying pan til golden brown and ready to make me jolly. double cool points when using the sandwich cutting device i received from my sister esa. it turns a one grilled cheese into two dinosaurs made of grilled cheese (as seen above).

*mark williams*
suffice it to say that if you don't know him, you wish you did. if you do know him, you know what i mean. and yes, the photo is of the aforementioned paper-mermaid burning.

*surf ninjas*
how can you not have this movie on your list? it's one of virtually everyone's favorite things. kwansu!

*human anatomy*
yes, it's going to devour me this fall, but as a subject it can't be beaten. it's always crazy when you look at your text book and then look at your forearm and see the same thing. just dissected. way too cool. chemistry would probably be the same if we could readily see on the molecular level.  it's also cool that my body works. that's included in this one.

*robots*
and anything that has to do with them. androids  are not included in this. nor are cyborgs. and on a side note, i realize that this is sloppier than most of my posts. cry about it. i did.

*mario... and luigi.*
most anything involving these two is bound to be good. and really, the film is what sort of spoils things here, so most any game is a safe bet. the funny part is that we all look back and slam on super mario bros the movie, yet at the time, we all loved it. and some of us saw it more than once. more than three times, actually. and really, it should be noted that the film is included in this favorite thing just because of the nostalgia attached to it. and because it has john leguizamo.

*acoustic guitar*
fun to play, fun to hear, and bob dylan utilized it well enough to make the list of a few of my favorite things. something very soft and soothing about an acoustic that you can't get elsewhere. also wonderful to watch splinter in wrestling matches.

*h.g. wells*
i've recently gotten into audio books and wells has been a staple in the lineup. personal favorites include sleeper awakes and island of dr. moreau. definitely worth investigating.

*england*
you friends across the pond know that i can't leave england out. i love the place. i'm happy to be american, but i'm happy to have english friends. you know i love you, you crazy english folk.

*wales*
and wales, i love you too. i put wales after england because i hoped that at least a few of you would be angry and assume i just lumped wales with england. you know i don't play favorites. just favorite things. and countries. oh how i miss doing sixty in a vauxhaul down your winding roads. i also miss some of the nicest, and at times, bewildering, people in the world. but mostly the nicest. and the people that were bewildering were still friendly... just more confusing than anything else.

and now, to end my list of favorite things, i give you one that's very dear to me.

*chairs*
though  we really don't make a fuss about it, chairs really are just too good.  really, chairs are wonderful. i love them to death, and hope to have many wonderful chairs before my days are done. and name them all.

now don't you feel better? i do.  and it's a good thing to, because i was quite peeved. take care everybody, maybe next time i'll write something worth reading.

minnie and me.

2009-08-27T01:04:00.015-06:00

this post is devoted to my stout friend jimmy and my tall friend neil.

(jimmy)............(neil)

the three of us went to school together. i moved into the area where i lived out my teenage years the summer of 2000. i think. i met them in eighth grade when wee trace was floundering around morgan middle school. we were pretty tight friends throughout high school, and had many a zany experience. i wish i could tell you how these two met, but i wasn't around and i'm sure i'd get the story wrong. so oh well.

anyway, it's 1:19 in the morning and i'm looking for something to write about. then i realized that these guys are awesome. so i decided to post this.

the number of stories i've told that begin with either "one time, me and my friend jimmy..." or "i remember once that neil decided that..." i couldn't tell you, but they are many. and that's realizing that most of the best stories haven't been told. at least not out of the circle of the three of us. stories involving mama mia, throwing a tv from a roof (in a tweed suit), camping on the watertower, fake tattoos, pirates, oslo the dog, and lot and lots of sharpees. it's wonderful. you can't put a price on memories like that.

anyway, as of recent things have gotten really weird in a few very particular ways. so having a set of friends such as these is really nice. i worry at times about how a lot of my friendships are based on specific things. i.e., classes, mutual friends, team fortress... once those things are gone, so are those friends (or worse). it's always reassuring to know that these two weenies are always around to remind me with a noogie that i have some of the best weenies in the world as friends.

so, to you two losers whom i adore so much, thank you for being a friend, to quote the theme from golden girls. you guys are great. i (saying this at the expense of being sentimental) sincerely hope i've been as a good a friend to you guys as you've to me.

and to everybody else who read this, chances are you're very cool too. and i'm probably friends with you... probably.

roast mutton.

2009-08-26T09:55:00.009-06:00

i love 'the hobbit'. granted, i haven't read the full lord of the rings trilogy, but i think what i've read (the first of them all), i still prefer bilbo to frodo. at least his book. this is for lots of reasons, but i think a big part of it is the fact that in reading it i was introduced to all sorts of new creatures, peoples, ideas and so on and so forth that when i read the fellowship it just didn't have the same kick in the pants as found in 'there and back again.'

one chapter is still a favorite. i took the liberty of having this post share the name of the chapter, "roast mutton." the basic summary (starting some way into the chapter) is that bilbo, being the master thief he is, is assigned by his accompanying dwarves to investigate a fire in the distance of the woods and either befriend the owners, or pilfer some food. he's to give warning if it's dangerous. he is caught by three trolls round the fire, but is able to escape. sadly, the dwarves without the warning have since gone in themselves and been captured and bound, one by one by the said trolls. as things seem worst, the trolls argue and contemplate the fate of the dwarves. all of them involve somehow eating them, but the big debate rests between boiling, bludgeoning to goo, roasting, etc., etc., etc.. luckily, they oafish trolls wind up debating on this point for so long and arguing about whatever they can, really, the morning comes, and with it the sun that turns three trolls to stone. but of course, the narrow escape has more than meets the eye. gandalf (our resident wizard) reveals himself and the fact that he had been perpetuating the arguement the whole time using voices to match each troll and irritating the others to buy time 'til morning. with the dwarves freed, and a key to their lair in hand, they continue on the journey. the trolls are turned to stone because they're each convinced the others are trying to undermine their own efforts or ideas (you could say things about the dwarves as well, but we'll save that for another over-analyitical post). so, lesson learned. when you insist on arguing, whether you're in the wrong or in the right, it usually leads to the same thing. being made of stone, and more generally speaking, stale mates and failure all around. and now to justify the title. the chapter's name comes from the troll's heard conversation prior to bilbo's being caught. a snippet from the text:

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't       look like mutton again tomorrer," said one of the trolls.      
"Never a blinking bit of manflesh have we had for long enough,"       said a second. "What the 'ell William was a-thinkin' of to bring       us into these parts at all, beats me - and the drink runnin'       short, what's more," he said jogging the elbow of William, who       was taking a pull at his jug. 
William choked. "Shut yer mouth!" he said as soon as he could.       "Yer can't expect folk to stop here for ever just to be et by       you and Bert. You've et a village and a half between yer, since       we come down from the mountains. How much more d'yer want? And       time's been up our way, when yer'd have said 'thank yer Bill'       for a nice bit o' fat valley mutton like what this is." He took       a big bite off a sheep's leg he was toasting, and wiped his       lips on his sleeve. 
they were fed up with roast mutton. they wanted to eat man flesh. is that so wrong? i don't think so. not for a troll, anyway. so i think to myself, "i enjoy roast mutton. but every night? i want to eat human," speaking allegorically. and then, pop! in comes a hobbit. a little thing like that would be easy enough and, though not a full person, better meat just the same. lose the hobbit. that's a shame. gain a bunch of dwarves. what a stroke of luck. spend the whole night bickering and turn to stone. that's the biggest shame. that they had what they wanted (moreso in a way, because trolls hate dwarves. eating them would be like an ultimate double whammy), and then it's gone.  all gone. sometimes it's like i'm currently in one of two phases of the story. a) lost the hobbit, now hoping to have dwarves show up, or b) bickering until sunrise.

neither one is very satisfying, so at some point i'm hoping to move into the the-hobbit's-a-hero-let's-go-retrieve-the-trolls'-treasure portion of the story soon. that would be nice.

on a seperate note, but one that helped to pick the chapter's name, i grew out some infant mutton chops this weekend, which was very enjoyable. they only had just short of a week to grow, so nothing to impressive, but it was fun to have them while i did. from thursday to tuesday around 4:30 they were still around. but, then they had to come off. but they live on in spirit, and will continue to live on during weekends, holidays, and school breaks.

anyway, long winded, probably pretty boring, and completely normal for this blog; this post is done. thanks for reading, and i'll see you next time.
trace lund

revelations from the noggin (fairly boring).

2009-08-21T21:09:00.014-06:00

thanks is owed to my friend lee-ann for her post on her blog (found here, if you're curious) that featured some tests she took from the noggin website. now, not only do i love taking pointless quizzes, and love noggin from my teenage days, but i'm also eager to find distractions from lots of things. you may have noticed that from the slur of posts over the last little bit in comparison to my usual consistency in posting. you could say i'm blog vomiting, or blomiting, these days. or maybe blogiting... i can't decide.

anyway, some results for you. and some commentary.

this one may or may not be accurate according to which element of my life you want to take in for examination. on the whole, i'll say that's fairly accurate.

this one isn't very accurate at all. i watch gossip girl when i'm the mood for just about anything, because i'm always in the mood for gossip girl.

key word: jolly. when you're jolly, you can get away with any flavor. you can also melt in pockets--don't read into that.

i didn't realize this test was just for girls until half way through, and it was only about six eight questions long, so i finished it anyway. besides, the semester is starting soon so i need all the tips i can get. sadly, this one didn't prove all that helpful as i already planned on wearing plenty of plaid.

and to end on a strong note, one more bit of evidence that i should have been born with a horn growing out of my forehead, just like i've been saying all along. we all knew that i had to end this slur of quizzes with one that was accurate.

well, that was a waste of time for both you and me. hopefully you didn't bother reading unless you were as bored or desperate for distraction as i was when i wrote it/was doing my research for it.

and by way of announcement, mark williams is very cool. we once lit a small, paper mermaid on fire. i'll have to tell that story another day. it was fun. i have pictures too.

so long, everybody.

rabbit holes (radio version).

2009-08-20T20:37:00.020-06:00

i'm in the middle of a weird phase right now.

life right now smacks a bit of when i wake up from sleeping in and can't quite make out what's really going on. even when i do, everything still feels just a little bit off. my daily schedule, hobbies, ability to do random things, none of them quite seem to fit the usual sound, smell, taste, feeling, or appearance of life. maybe it's from all the pizza.

i had a much bigger, much moodier post written up already. i wrote it over an hour's time whilst watching 'westworld.' (on a side note, that was a very good library find. i'm thoroughly enjoying it. it even stars yul brynner for all you 'king and i' types.) i was going to post it, but as i realized it was around three pages long, remarkably melodramatic, and really just annoying (as i would imagine to any reader), i decided to simply e-mail it to myself and forget posting it. maybe i would have thought otherwise if bothered reading it. it was too long and moody, though, so here you go instead. you should be glad i did so. all two of you that will read this.

basically, this post is just here so i can satisfy my need to post something after writing such a long post, and in turn not posting it. this is a sort of sad excuse for a post. like eating a cereal box because you threw away all of the cereal... yeah. just like that.

and now, since you bothered reading, here's part of the last post. it was the light hearted climax of an otherwise heavy handed piece of writing. it has an ironic history about it in context, but i'll leave it for now. if you're really that interested in it you can ask me, you two readers.

and i one day hope to smoke my awkwardness and everything else with it into extinction. figuratively, of course.

see you later. i promise the next post will be a bit more uppity and a little less johny raincloud.

pizza grease.

2009-08-17T20:47:00.011-06:00

i can't remember i time i really had any sort of problem with food. this of course is assuming that you allow my typical diet to pass as, well, permissible. put it this way, i've never had a problem with having food be a comfort for me. however, as of late, my best friend seems to have been shasta and that pint size roman, little caesar. last week there was a four day period where i had pizza as my main meal each day. two days of little ceasars, one day of something provided for a church activity, and one day of a frozen generic brand pizza--and let the record show i should have just payed the extra seventy cents for the tombstone.

it's just an interesting situaiton. having never really experienced this before, i'm able to make observations as days go on that i wouldn't had this been a normal experience. the biggest one is that my head has undergone a sort of pavlov's dog idea. i go to get a pizza, and like the bell to the dog, this makes me happy. i'm actually salivating long before i even purchase the pizza, both literally and figuratively. it's interesting. i wouldn't go so far as to say that i'm drowning my sorrow in pizza grease, though by the amount i'm eating you might think so. i really should lay off the pepperoni pizza. it reminds me of the film super size me (which is worth a watch if you haven't seen it).

on the other side of my existence is science fiction. this has always been the case as noted in earlier blogs, but nowadays i find myself more and more drawn to it. over the last little while i've 'read' (via free audio-books) several science fiction novels that i would have been embarassed to mention my knowledge of before. classics such as 'deathworld' and 'this crowded earth' have for some reason taken on a remarkably interesting appeal in the last little while. and i'd feel ashamed of myself if i didn't at least mention planet of the apes. i'm currently renting and enjoying the series from the local library and hope to finish the whole thing before the semester begins.

anyway, it's just very interesting what sort of things take your interest and devotion when life's a little slow. it's easy to slip into apathy and let everything slide by without notice and dismiss it all as part of the same boring, unimportant occurence that is life at times. but somewhere between brent searching for taylor and nova getting killed, i started to realize that things are worth bothering about. yes, tired, stressed, and lots of other things, but things are there to look for. i'm starting a semester soon that really will be the first major bridge to cross on my trek to med school; i've free time to do things i haven't in a long while like playing guitar and writing stupid songs that really only appeal to me; i'm watching planet of the apes and listening to 1970's science fiction. you could ask for more, but there are things to be enjoyed already--don't get greedy.

so bring on the grease. tomorrow is another wonderful day and one day closer to a bright future.
also one day closer to the rise of apes, and i'll eat to that.

eating time and changing minds.

2009-08-16T15:06:00.011-06:00

yeah yeah yeah... we all know i get a bit gung-ho about things without really thinking them over. for those unaware, click on the picture above for a history, but i was planning on joining the air force rotc for reasons listed already in that post, so i won't bother repeating them.

well, as part of my prep for applying, i needed to create a graduation plan. whether or not i join the rotc, i'll realistically be graduating in the year 2012. which is sort of depressing in a way seeing as it's 2009, but we'll let that slide. especially since i plan on a lot more schooling past my undergrad. so here's the deal. with the rotc, i'd be able to do so sometime during that summer, and i'd be scraping by with the very minimum of my science credits. also, i wouldn't actually be finishing them until after i took the mcat, which is basically a sort of act for med school. now, i don't mean to sound like a pessimist, but i cannot realistically think that after no science courses really and minimal experience with algebra and physics that i would stand a breath of a chance at that exam.

so.

i went in and spoke to the pre-med advisers who backed up my thinking that it's not worth putting prep for mcat on the chopping block for rotc credentials, but to instead use all the classes to my prep and get my experience for applications elsewhere where they won't take up class hours. that's what i'll be doing.

it should be noted that i still want to join the air force one day. i still want to go through the air force for med school. this is still very possible. from what i understand you basically need to be competitive for med school in general, and you'll have a good shot for getting in to the air force program.

and in addition to all of this, my gpa was rooting me on as it will be easier to keep up good grades when i have classes to worry about that go towards the mcat as opposed to classes that have me studying air force business and then having to study mcat stuff separately.

so there. i know you're probably disappointed i won't have to keep my hair even shorter than byu standards (which, let's be honest, i could really work on), and believe me i'll miss not getting to twirl around guns like on the armed forces commercials. you're probably also disappointed this post wasn't very entertaining, but it seems my posts are getting more and more like that. you can excuse them being such by focusing on the graphics at the top.

placebos and comfort blankets.

2009-08-04T09:54:00.003-06:00

as i've begun my trek into the next semester by beginning my studies and trying to fill out all my rotc paperwork including a comprehensive graduation plan for my degree in psychology, minor in chemistry, and requisites for rotc. so, jumping in with both feet, i've once again broken out the school year's glasses and backpack and am gearing up for battle.

many of you know and adore linus from the classic comic strip 'peanuts' (and many of you also adore my nephew, linus, who is all the more adorable). he's famous for always carrying his blue blanket, despite infinite encouragement from the other characters and numerous attempts to do so. whatever the reason, he can't seem to operate properly without it.

for a period of time, he also had a pair of glasses which he wore because he found that his eyes would water whenever he read and ate potato chips at the same time. they were eventually phased from the comic strip, but he did have them for a time to ensure he could enjoy his reading and eating potato chips.

me and linus have a bit in common.

for me, i have a sort of matching set of comfort blanket and glasses. my backpack is my comfort blanket during my studies. even when i've no intention to study, it comes with me. whether at a computer, desk, or on a lawn i for some reason require my beat-up old puma bag. and "glasses is glasses" here. i may be able to study a bit without glasses, but when the frames come out it's business time. time to eat chips and read, so to speak.

all in all, they're both basically serving the functions of a) making me more comfortable to study, or 'getting me in the zone' and b)somehow convincing me that i'm more effective than i may actually be. that's where the placebo part of the title comes in. do these things actually make a difference? maybe. m&ms may also help a cold a bit, but really the difference is made in the fact that your brain is convinced that those m&ms will make a difference. likewise, over time these glasses and this bag have driven their way deep enough into my sulci to make that sort of difference. and yes, i realize that me considering them as placebos sort of ruins the whole thing. whatever.

so. glasses on, backpack at side.

let's rumble.

facing books and rotcen meat.

2009-07-31T09:17:00.002-06:00

hello again. this post is meant as an explanation as well as a brief update. as you may have noted from other sources, i have for the time being, closed (or soon will) my facebook account. i'll be taking a sabbatical for a yet undecided period of time. it may last until the beginning of the new fall semester, the end of it, perhaps the end of march 2010, or maybe it will never be opened again. the last is doubtful, but possible just the same.

there are several reasons for this, but the only one i'll mention for now is the fact that i've decided to enroll in the air force rotc program here at byu. this normally wouldn't have much of an effect (at least the effect it does now) because it's intended to be done over a time span that would grant two years of preparation before your fate is decided by a board as to whether or not you'll be endorsed as a pre-med and eventual med school student (which is my objective). but i, being a late bloomer, have started later than most, and as a result, must take all of the required courses in one semester, ace my classes, up my personal fitness level substantially, get to know my commanding officers in six months to make up for a year and a half, and prepare like mad for the entry exams (i'll only have one shot at them before i'm reviewed) before the end of fall semester. and facebook is problematic in the amount of time i use it. and for those of you who may whine at this, take comfort in knowing that facebook isn't the only thing on the chopping block.

so, what remains to be done before fall's beginning is complete the application, study for the entrance exam, as well as prepare for the semester ahead by beginning on my chem/anatomy studies to ensure my gpa is raised. likewise raising my personal fitness to meet and hopefully exceed standards set by my peers. which makes me wish to note that if there is one thing that i'm not looking forward to with the program, it's being ranked against my peers. i know it's how things work in the world, but it's still not as pleasant to realize your buddy from class and so on is potentially your reason you didn't get in, or that you're likewise his reason. but oh well, if i don't sabotage anyone's plans or efforts i can't say i'll have a heavy conscience if i proceed while they do not. anyway, that's the big reason. if you're reading this, chances are you already have another way to contact me. if not, check my profile and you'll find a link to my e-mail address. feel free to use it.

ripping off jfk.

2009-07-28T12:12:00.009-06:00

a friendly hello to you all. this post is one of these "what's going on in my life" posts, so feel free to skip it if you'd rather not bother reading it. no offense taken.

so, as some readers may know, over the last year or so i've begun to fulfill pre-requisites for applying to med school. if you haven't spoken to me in a while about anything pertaining to education, you probably are a bit lost. shortly put, some sort of fundamental change occurred in which my goals drastically altered from seeking to be a librarian or dramaturg to setting my sights on psychology--which is my current major--and then panning to the right to land on medicine. it's pretty crazy. if you want to know anything about this, just look up anything with the tag of "chemistry" or "anatomy" and it should fill you in.

moving along, i recently spoke with a coworker who's prepping to go to dental school about chemistry and the requirements for schooling in just about any medicinal discipline. it turns out that if you tack one three credit hour course to my load, i'll have a chemistry minor. so what does this mean? i'm now registered as in process of obtaining a chem minor. now, i'm only beginning this path. and if any of you have been around this blog for a while, you'll note i really did hate the subject as of winter semester. however, i'm determined to make this happen. for one reason, if i bother taking all these classes and then not get into med school, i'll make blasted sure that i get something for all the effort. for the second, and the far more noble reason, we'll go to Former President John F. Kennedy as he spoke on putting a man on the moon.

"We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not only because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too."
(find the full text here)

in context, it may be something like this for me.

"i choose to minor in chemistry. i choose to minor in chemistry before i graduate and complete all my other required courses not because they are enjoyable, but because they are a bit of a pain (but good for me), because doing so will prove to myself that i pummeled and have gained rule over this subject and others, make me be more productive and spend less time on facebook to better utilize my time and effort, because i'm going to build up the guts and patience to do it, because getting into med school is a challenge i am willing to accept, will need to postpone for now but will begin preparing for, and which i intend to absolutely obliterate, leaving a trail of brilliance in my wake. a goal i intend to achieve, and others too."

and thus my further pilgrimage to academic nerdery continues. wish me luck, i'll need it. hope you're all doing wonderful. i'll try to post again soon. like always. so it might be a while.

i <3 chicken.

2009-07-09T13:05:00.012-06:00

so, i try to keep my posts interesting, even if (in my mind) that means having to give some text to some otherwise only mildly interesting pictures. such is the case today. i'll be sharing an introduction to the photos, and then a story that many of you have probably heard before already, and then stop writing so i can begin thinking about all the things i need to put in the second part of my washington dc report, which i never actually did like i promised.

last night autumn, brad and i found ourselves in my apartment. and none of us had eaten yet, none of us wanted to go to get something to eat, and so brad had the idea to make a broccoli and chicken casserole. we agreed this would be the best course of action and began assembling ingredients.

being a chicken casserole, it of course was a good time to put some of the chicken breasts that autumn had purchased while ago to use. long story short, i wound up being the one to cut up the chicken, and during my chopping, the still-frozen core of her chicken made what was going to be delicious adorable!

in case you can't tell due to the quality of my camera-phone photo, that's a chicken breast that's formed a darling little heart. sorry if the color of the chicken blends with the color of my fleshy palms. i should have taken one with it on the carpet maybe.

it was very cute. i was a bit saddened as i had to go on to cut up this charming heart rather than being able to put it in a scrapbook, but as i hadn't paid for it, it wasn't really my choice. i chopped it into 2"ish sized pieces and threw it to the frying pan in preparation for its being in the casserole. still, it taught me something. love is everywhere. you just need to pull apart the right layers to see it. and possibly have part of it still frozen to hold the pieces together.

brad  also studied a bit.

and now on to the story. it may come off as a bit crass, so my apologies if you've rather sensitive. i hesitate to share it just a bit, but you can guess by the subject matter what the punchline has to do with this post.

so. it was valentines day on my mission in england. i had the two elders i was working with, and as i was going to go home soon (and as no one wanted to talk to us on this oh so romantic evening) i offered to buy the fellows dinner. we went to the local kebab shop. the owner was a friendly turkish man who was clearly a bit surprised to have three guys in dress suits coming into his shop on valentines night. we spoke a bit, and then ordered. i'll just give you the straight dialogue between him and the three of us.

"what would you like, boys?"

"um, i'd like a doner kebab, please."

"alright. and you?"

"same for me with a coke."

"and you?"

"um... can i get a chicken kebab?"

"of course! good choice. chicken is a good valentine. very big breasts."

and we all laughed. like i said, a bit crass, but it was so hilarious and vaguely related to this post as a whole that i thought i'd share it. hopefully you're not offended.

reacquainting myself with the floating bum.

2009-07-07T15:12:00.016-06:00

as i'm sure you're all well aware, times ain't the easiest when it comes to finding work. whether it's for full time skilled labor or part-time grunt work, jobs are competitive. bearing this in mind, i've had the great fortune of being able to find another job. so to speak. for the unaware, i currently work at the benson science building on byu campus doing early morning (4:30 am) custodial work, and have been since last november. it pays well enough for what it is and has been great for a job both during school and break. the only disadvantage (outside of the occasional disgusting happening) is that the hours are limited to 17.5 a week. that means that while it pays well enough, it still lands short of a fulltime job. which is really what i would hope for during a break where i have no school. so i've been looking for a second job for the summer. and luckily, i actually found one, or rather, rediscovered one.

the job i worked before the benson building (and the job where i met my dear girlfriend) was at byu laundry. i pressed coats and pants and drove a laundry truck for about six months when i first came back to the university. when i left, my boss said if i was interested in a job again to give him a call. i did, and he didn't have any spots available until recently. but since he had one as of last week, i finally got the second job i'd been looking for.

it's interesting coming back to a job after you've been gone for over half a year. especially a job like the laundry. it's a great place, but much of the work is fairly monotonous. for instance, my past job (and now current job) was/is pressing coats and jackets at a little station for the duration of the shift. not the most thrilling business. that's not the reason i left the laundry, but i must confess it may have had some influence. now, though, i've come back and see people who have been there since before i started last summer still at the presses. i have to wonder how they can bear it. honestly, it's sort of like making xerox copies of a weirdly shaped papers one after another for hours without ever speaking to anybody or moving. it's practically a varicose vein farm. because i'm a fidget, i can't stand at the same spot that long so in the few seconds that the machine is on autopilot i take the chance to bounce on my toes, find an excuse to walk a bit (drinks of water are the most common), or simply jump in place a few times. but these other people who simply twist their waists every few minutes have me baffled.

personally, i've always been more partial for pressing jackets. it's what i started on. also, you put the jacket on a sort of wire-and-cloth mannequin rather than...

the floating bum.

i thought i was rid of this abomination when i left the laundry in november, but my dismissal was premature and even rash in retrospect. it would seem fate has intertwined our destinies. either way, there are always more pants to press than jackets, so when one of the pants presses are open i get to head over. in case you're curious, this machine basically take the pants and floods them with steam so they balloon up to their max size and eliminate any small wrinkles and also reinforce pleats (as seen in the photo). then it's our job to take them to the press itself and put the crease of the pants in place and eliminate any stray wrinkles. and to be fair, from this angle, i guess it's more accurately titled "the floating crotch." that sounds a bit crass, though, doesn't it?

anyway, this means a bit more income for yours truly which is a good thing after half a summer of searching for some extra cash flow. at least i have an mp3 player now. autumn is being kind enough to loan me hers (amongst other acts of kindness--so thanks to her), and i'm only working three hour shifts. how in the world i use to work four hours without any music or radio theater to fill my skull is beyond me. but i see other people doing it, so i guess it remains possible. to be fair though, these are the same people who'll be getting varicose veins.

so there.

p.s.--yes, i know i neglected part two of my washington dc adventure. i apologize. i totally forgot and will work on getting it posted soon. forgive me, williams.